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Everybody Poops

Omg having been dealing with new onset severe inoperable Crohn’s disease the last year, I literally s*it reading this! Tears of laughter and too many memories of leaf wipes.


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That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Great job telling your story. We as dedicated outdoorsmen can all relate. If you ever listen to the Wired to hunt podcast, Mark has a funny story on one episode where he tells the story about the "poop blind" incident.
 
That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Great job telling your story. We as dedicated outdoorsmen can all relate. If you ever listen to the Wired to hunt podcast, Mark has a funny story on one episode where he tells the story about the "poop blind" incident.
Thanks bud!
 
That is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Great job telling your story. We as dedicated outdoorsmen can all relate. If you ever listen to the Wired to hunt podcast, Mark has a funny story on one episode where he tells the story about the "poop blind" incident.

That poop blind story is a great one!
 
Great story telling. I think if you have been hunting or fishing long enough you have had a similar experience.
 
Excellent story telling there brother. My face was oscillating between a big grin and a grimace as the plot unfolded. I shall never shake a strangers hand in the parking lot again...
 
LMAO!! That had me in tears.
Always happens while I'm in the woods, the dreaded "uh-oh gotta go now, dammit!" Must be a reaction my body has when I get in the woods, sorta like a dog that gets all excited and starts humping everything in sight. I don't fight it anymore, well I haven't in years. I pack "business paper" in a ziploc bag and take care of my business with all the creature comforts I need. The most important part of the procedure is to reach between your legs and grab your belt from your backside and pull it to behind your knees while assuming the position so the flight path is clear of obstructions. Also, for the men here, remember to keep your "fire hose" pointed in a safe direction or risk hunting in wet clothing . . . ask me how I know . . .
 
LMAO!! That had me in tears.
Always happens while I'm in the woods, the dreaded "uh-oh gotta go now, dammit!" Must be a reaction my body has when I get in the woods, sorta like a dog that gets all excited and starts humping everything in sight. I don't fight it anymore, well I haven't in years. I pack "business paper" in a ziploc bag and take care of my business with all the creature comforts I need. The most important part of the procedure is to reach between your legs and grab your belt from your backside and pull it to behind your knees while assuming the position so the flight path is clear of obstructions. Also, for the men here, remember to keep your "fire hose" pointed in a safe direction or risk hunting in wet clothing . . . ask me how I know . . .
Got any pics or a video.... I'm a visual learner
 
LMAO!! That had me in tears.
Always happens while I'm in the woods, the dreaded "uh-oh gotta go now, dammit!" Must be a reaction my body has when I get in the woods, sorta like a dog that gets all excited and starts humping everything in sight. I don't fight it anymore, well I haven't in years. I pack "business paper" in a ziploc bag and take care of my business with all the creature comforts I need. The most important part of the procedure is to reach between your legs and grab your belt from your backside and pull it to behind your knees while assuming the position so the flight path is clear of obstructions. Also, for the men here, remember to keep your "fire hose" pointed in a safe direction or risk hunting in wet clothing . . . ask me how I know . . .
You've got yourself a youtube channel in the making right there!
 
I’m wiping tears from my eyes! My wife loved the part about your daughter when she’s 13. I always bring a ziploc full of baby wipes in my truck and minimize my coffee intake to 16oz or less lol.
 
Dude, I can’t believe I haven’t seen this post before today! I was laughing out loud while reading it! And I really needed a good laugh today, Thanks!
 
The only way to properly take a woods poop is grabbing a small tree 4-5 inches in diameter and leaning out away from it being sure to clear your clothes with solids and liquids and then quickly cut up a sock or sleeve after you realize you forgot the white paper
 
Great Story! Loved it!

If I can make a suggestion... back in the army during winter exercises I got into the habit of reaching up the back of my jacket and disconnecting the back of my suspenders. This gives you enough slack to pull your pants down to your knees without getting undressed! Then I would back up to a tree and lean against it with my back and my knees bent about a 45 degree angle. The other good alternative is to find a long no more than 6" in diameter and sit on it with your ass hanging over!

But seriously, awesome story!
 
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