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Fat-Man Climbing

Nutterbuster

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Oct 12, 2017
Messages
10,065
Location
Where the skys are so blue!
Also known as Lazy-Man Climbing, Waldrop Pacseat Owner Climbing, Climbing for Them What Respect Gravity, Dang-it-There's-0-Ground-Cover-Here Tek, Whattaya-Mean-They-Don't-Let-Ya-Drill-Trees-on-this-Property Method, I-Wanna-Hunt-but-I-got-the-Black-Coffee-&-Taco-Bell-Breakfast-Runs, I-Just-Wanna-Be-Part-of-the-Forum-Contest Technique, and the Peek-Over-The-Palmettos Method.

This gets the average (5'10), out-of-shape (220lbs) guy a TRUE 10-12ft off the ground (measured from ground to platform height) in roughly 5 minutes with minimum motion and no "gimmick." No need to carry anything in your hands or hang anything off of your saddle, and you make one trip up/down. Just a solid, quiet, quick way to get out of the line-of-sight of most deer in most conditions.

I personally will keep using bolts whenever I can, but as I've swung a wider loop I've run into places where that's not an option. I am too fat, too lazy, and too good at killing deer 0-15ft off the ground to bother with trying to do anything that requires more effort than this or a pacseat. Side note, this setup straps to a pacseat rather well and it'd be easy to carry the perfect ground seat and this setup. 24.2lbs with climbing gear and saddle, chair, foam pad, and a pack with miscellaneous BS and a liter of water. Not really my idea of high-speed, low-drag, but it shoulders and packs pretty well and gives you lots of options if you're striking out into the unknown from dark til dark. I may do it once or twice.

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Props to @swampsnyper for his setup inspiring me to give sticks yet another.

Step 1. Acquire 4 Novix, Trophyline, or Lone Wolf mini sticks. Slap a slanted scout platform on one.

Step 2. Easiest mods ever. Wrap the sticks in vet wrap, take the cam buckle off and use the strap for the buckleless method. Store the straps in a hip pouch on your saddle. Cut 2, 18"ish pieces of 1/8" bungee, tie them in a loop, and stick a cord lock on them. Side stack them thusly using the bungees to secure:

Screenshot_20210831-112127_Gallery.jpg

Now you have a 6.75lb package that packs easily to almost any backpack or can be carried in your hands without issue (my preference.) Also very economical at $235 before tax and shipping for a brand new climbing method and platform.

Step 3. Get your saddle and pack organized. I have been using a left and right hip pouch. Left pouch holds my tether/bridge in the bottom and the lineman belt on top. Right pouch holds my gear hanger at the bottom and my 4 stick straps on top. Backpack holds everything else and is modified with a grommet in the bottom to feed the line from my Doyle's gear hoist out of. I can climb with everything on my back except my weapon, and it just gets clipped to the carabiner that hangs out of the bottom center of my back. I've done this for as long as I can remember, way before I was saddle hunting.

Step 4. Strap on your saddle and your backpack and carry a weapon in one hand or over the shoulder and the sticks in another. Or strap the sticks to your pack if it's set up for such shennanigans. Go hunt!

Step 5. When you get to the tree unbundle your sticks.

Step 6. Set your 3rd stick (off the ground) 1st. Standing on your tippy-toes you should be able to put the top of it right at 8ft up.

Step 7. Set your 1st stick 2nd. Set it just high enough to comfortably step on. 20"ish off the ground.

Step 8. Set the 2nd stick 3rd, dead even between the two sticks you just set.

Step 9. Reach up and prop the 4th and final stick (with platform) on the top standoff of the 3rd stick.

Step 10. Shimmy on up with your linemans belt, grab the 4th stick, set it, and climb up the the platform.

Step 11. Set up your tether and gear strap, hang your pack, then pull up your weapon and hang that. You're done.

If that took you longer than 7 minutes from the time you picked the tree, you either picked a real doozie to climb or need to give up deer hunting for simpler hobbies. Maybe feeding pigeons in the city park? Takes me around 5 minutes in the yard and a little less on the way down with no fast movements or clinking noises.

Nothing fancy. I'll probably hunt a good bit just setting 3 sticks up, especially during early bow season and in really thick brush. If you wanted to you could pretty easily add in a single step CAYG aider to push you up over 15ft, but at that point you'd be back to figuring out how to get sticks up the tree (and you'd be using a gosh-forsaken aider). I despise hanging a stick off of my saddle and all that mess, and have killed easily 15 deer in the past 2 years without climbing over 15ft, so this really lubes my pistons.
 
Bonus pic.

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I started wrapping my straps this way last year after talking with Kuhnert and listening to him wonder why people wrapped straps around sticks. I've never felt the need to spend money on the "rope mod" when these pack small and weigh 6oz for 4 and are free-fiddy with the price of the sticks. Only con is they are only like 5ft long, but I've honestly never wanted to climb a tree they wouldn't work on.
 
if we're sharing unconventional stick setting methods, i'll go- i ran 30 inch hawk heliums last year with 8-9' daisy chains. i'd carry the 3 pack in strapped to my platform. get to the tree, unstrap sticks, platform goes back on my back (MOLLE straps). first stik gets set. each of the other two sticks is propped on either side of the tree, and the elastic loop at the end of the daisy chain is put over my wrist. climb to the top of the first stick, LB and all that... and hoist up stick 2. set it, climb up, hoist third stick (occasionally wil start coming off the ground mid-climb on stick 2, you can just be ready and hold it off the tree because your hand is already over there tending your lineman belt, or hoist it up before climbing and do the 3/4 stick prop like you mention. once the third stick is set, set the platform. nothing ever dangling off of your waist, and because the only thing around your wrist is the ELASTIC, it can break away before causing injury ( i tested it). yes there's some dangling daisy chains sometimes, but all the loose ends should be to your left and right away from you and don't interfere with climbing the sticks.

not as slick as some of the gear hangers, but it's another way to climb without anything attached to your saddle
 
It’s all good, brother, happens(ed) to the best of us
 
I'm with you on 90% of your reasons why I don't want to climb that far up a tree...I may ditch the aiders this year over losing 20#s before bow opener......:grin::neutral:
 
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