I did once. Then I got a new girlfriend, career, built a house, mortgage, wife kids. 1 year turned into 10. Glad I'm back.
This part is key. Not denying her, but just so that every waking moment doesn't revolve around you. The one I dated before I met my wife... she had no hobbies. And looking back, although she had her girlfriends, they never really did anything. Maybe "go shopping". Every time I went and did anything there was the guilt trip.
My wife of 14 years, she's a competitive runner. We have a strong social circle of like minded friends with kids of similar age. She goes on running trips. Yoga. Her and her friends hang out, drink Prosecco all day while the kids run around. It's fine. I've hunted more than ever the last several years and my boys are 7 and 10. I take them hunting too, just to give her free time.
Point is, build a situation where your wife isn't sitting around waiting for you to get back and instead has something of her own to do. That's my advice.
Right. I am trying to talk her into having the second kid now and not waiting. I am too old already.I'm going to play devil's advocate. Keep in mind I know nothing about you or your situation. And everything I say is not meant to be judgmental, and take everything with a grain of salt. It seem like one of the main issue that you bring up or your wife bring up is money. I'm guilty of overspending when I first got into hunting and it caused some problems. They said money is the reason for most divorces, but its usually because money is the most identifiable and verifiable cause. So maybe sit with her and talk about is the money really bothering her or something else? If it is, maybe agree to a budget if you didn't already have one. If nothing else, she can't use it against you if you both agreed to something CLEARLY.
Also remember life is always changing, sometime you are in a tough period but it will get better. I literally gave up all other hobbies once I became a dad, somethings that I gave up not by choice to be honest, and trying to squeeze in time to hold on to them also cause a lot of fights. Things will get better or change, or at least its what my wife keep telling me. We had kids almost back to back, and we are still in the harder years. At first I wanted to spread the kids out because it was going to be hard with so many little kids. But wife made a really good point. Yes, its going to be hard the first few years, but realizes this. If we spread them out, we are signing up to change diapers for 2 decades!!!!!
We plan at the very least 2 months away on everything. Always have. My schedule for work makes it where everything has to be planned.I would encourage you to keep talking about this with your wife and find something you can both agree on. Every year I have multiple conversations with my wife, some of which include us having to work through some hard conflict. My kids are 6 and 9 now and I am able to hunt more than I was able to in their earlier years.
Two things that have helped my wife and I:
1. Planning ahead to pay attention to her needs. This has included finding childcare options for when I am hunting and she needs a break, as well as us planning ahead for her to have freedom to do some things that she enjoys while I take care of the kids.
2. My wife being able to see a difference in me when I am able to go out and come home a little more relaxed and engaged. If I am not working to enjoy my time out there and simply get frustrated that the hunting day didn't turn out like I wanted it to, which is what she sees when I get home, there is nothing for her to like about hunting. I have to remind myself that each day out is a privilege and I must take in the blessing of this.
This part is key. Not denying her, but just so that every waking moment doesn't revolve around you. The one I dated before I met my wife... she had no hobbies. And looking back, although she had her girlfriends, they never really did anything. Maybe "go shopping". Every time I went and did anything there was the guilt trip.
My wife of 14 years, she's a competitive runner. We have a strong social circle of like minded friends with kids of similar age. She goes on running trips. Yoga. Her and her friends hang out, drink Prosecco all day while the kids run around. It's fine. I've hunted more than ever the last several years and my boys are 7 and 10. I take them hunting too, just to give her free time.
Point is, build a situation where your wife isn't sitting around waiting for you to get back and instead has something of her own to do. That's my advice.
I only missed one season. Actually part of one. My unit was activated for Operation Desert Storm. It killed me to miss the rut. Hunting and marriage are never easy especially when kids are involved. The best advice I can give is to start raising your kids in the hunting lifestyle. My daughter and son watched many hours of hunting videos in addition to spending time fishing and camping. My kids love to hunt, shoot, and fish. I figured early on that if I wanted to hunt the kids would have to be involved. I couldn’t ask for two better hunting buddies. My wife has softened up to the point that gladly let’s us go. She is also a big fan of deer in the freezer.
Have any of you guys taking a year off from hunting to reset. I have a 4 year old and he likes to go when he can. But I know his fine will eventually expand to longer sits and more time in woods. Next season he will be 4.5. When I am hunting by myself, Normally I hunt at least 20-30 days worth of the season. This is burning vacation time from work to make hunts. Weather there out of state or draw hunts that last 2 to 5 day periods. Some stacked on top of each other. My wife has grown to hate hunting. Mainly due to the spending money and being away from home. I really love hunting. But trying to fix my wife. Will this move help or will this something she will think as a permanent thing that I just quit hunting all together.
Thoughts guys. I am thinking of just knocking my time in the woods to my favorite week of the year and that is it. So just 7 days of getting after it.
I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Been thinking about the same conundrum. This year I may use some PTO to do some week day hunts on public that’s about an hour from home. Figured I can drop them off at daycare and be there by ~8:30am. Then maybe just stalk around and try and find something on its feet. I would likely try and leave by 4pm so that my wife isn’t stranded at home by herself. I’d essentially be hunting the time of day that no one seemingly plans to hunt, but...I’d be in the field, could probably learn some new land, and it only takes one! If I could take one doe and learn a few things doing this 3-4x I would consider that a huge win.
I think you will be pleasantly surprised how effective this strategy could be!!I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Been thinking about the same conundrum. This year I may use some PTO to do some week day hunts on public that’s about an hour from home. Figured I can drop them off at daycare and be there by ~8:30am. Then maybe just stalk around and try and find something on its feet. I would likely try and leave by 4pm so that my wife isn’t stranded at home by herself. I’d essentially be hunting the time of day that no one seemingly plans to hunt, but...I’d be in the field, could probably learn some new land, and it only takes one! If I could take one doe and learn a few things doing this 3-4x I would consider that a huge win.
Spot on strategy bro!!!I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Been thinking about the same conundrum. This year I may use some PTO to do some week day hunts on public that’s about an hour from home. Figured I can drop them off at daycare and be there by ~8:30am. Then maybe just stalk around and try and find something on its feet. I would likely try and leave by 4pm so that my wife isn’t stranded at home by herself. I’d essentially be hunting the time of day that no one seemingly plans to hunt, but...I’d be in the field, could probably learn some new land, and it only takes one! If I could take one doe and learn a few things doing this 3-4x I would consider that a huge win.
During the rut, for sure!!!The best time of the day for me to hunt is from 11-3. That’s when I see the most bucks.