Have you ever took a year off from hunting.

[NATHAN]

I did once. Then I got a new girlfriend, career, built a house, mortgage, wife kids. 1 year turned into 10. Glad I'm back.

 

[HuumanCreed]

Glad you were able to keep both girlfriend and wife.

 

[dalton916]

This part is key. Not denying her, but just so that every waking moment doesn't revolve around you. The one I dated before I met my wife... she had no hobbies. And looking back, although she had her girlfriends, they never really did anything. Maybe "go shopping". Every time I went and did anything there was the guilt trip.

My wife of 14 years, she's a competitive runner. We have a strong social circle of like minded friends with kids of similar age. She goes on running trips. Yoga. Her and her friends hang out, drink Prosecco all day while the kids run around. It's fine. I've hunted more than ever the last several years and my boys are 7 and 10. I take them hunting too, just to give her free time.

Point is, build a situation where your wife isn't sitting around waiting for you to get back and instead has something of her own to do. That's my advice.

I’m glad you quoted what I wrote there. That second part was more tongue in cheek than anything and I should expounded on that and clarified like you did. Good work

 

[Dewey]

Take a year off from hunting? What kinda nonsense is that?

If you find the right woman hunting will never be an issue. I broke my wife in very early on while we were dating when she helped me track a buck I shot. She jumped right in on the blood trail and immediately I knew I found the right woman. Almost 30 years later she has never once given me a hard time about hunting too much. She understands my passion and would never stand in the way of it.

 

[barlow96]

I'm going to play devil's advocate. Keep in mind I know nothing about you or your situation. And everything I say is not meant to be judgmental, and take everything with a grain of salt. It seem like one of the main issue that you bring up or your wife bring up is money. I'm guilty of overspending when I first got into hunting and it caused some problems. They said money is the reason for most divorces, but its usually because money is the most identifiable and verifiable cause. So maybe sit with her and talk about is the money really bothering her or something else? If it is, maybe agree to a budget if you didn't already have one. If nothing else, she can't use it against you if you both agreed to something CLEARLY.


Also remember life is always changing, sometime you are in a tough period but it will get better. I literally gave up all other hobbies once I became a dad, somethings that I gave up not by choice to be honest, and trying to squeeze in time to hold on to them also cause a lot of fights. Things will get better or change, or at least its what my wife keep telling me. We had kids almost back to back, and we are still in the harder years. At first I wanted to spread the kids out because it was going to be hard with so many little kids. But wife made a really good point. Yes, its going to be hard the first few years, but realizes this. If we spread them out, we are signing up to change diapers for 2 decades!!!!!

Right. I am trying to talk her into having the second kid now and not waiting. I am too old already.

 

[barlow96]

I would encourage you to keep talking about this with your wife and find something you can both agree on. Every year I have multiple conversations with my wife, some of which include us having to work through some hard conflict. My kids are 6 and 9 now and I am able to hunt more than I was able to in their earlier years.

Two things that have helped my wife and I:

1. Planning ahead to pay attention to her needs. This has included finding childcare options for when I am hunting and she needs a break, as well as us planning ahead for her to have freedom to do some things that she enjoys while I take care of the kids.

2. My wife being able to see a difference in me when I am able to go out and come home a little more relaxed and engaged. If I am not working to enjoy my time out there and simply get frustrated that the hunting day didn't turn out like I wanted it to, which is what she sees when I get home, there is nothing for her to like about hunting. I have to remind myself that each day out is a privilege and I must take in the blessing of this.

We plan at the very least 2 months away on everything. Always have. My schedule for work makes it where everything has to be planned.

She will be fine with the plans until I am sitting in the tree. That’s when she says something. It seems like the closer I am to home when hunting the more she will have something to complain about. Mainly my son driving her crazy.

 

[barlow96]

This part is key. Not denying her, but just so that every waking moment doesn't revolve around you. The one I dated before I met my wife... she had no hobbies. And looking back, although she had her girlfriends, they never really did anything. Maybe "go shopping". Every time I went and did anything there was the guilt trip.

My wife of 14 years, she's a competitive runner. We have a strong social circle of like minded friends with kids of similar age. She goes on running trips. Yoga. Her and her friends hang out, drink Prosecco all day while the kids run around. It's fine. I've hunted more than ever the last several years and my boys are 7 and 10. I take them hunting too, just to give her free time.

Point is, build a situation where your wife isn't sitting around waiting for you to get back and instead has something of her own to do. That's my advice.

Mine does not. But I couple months back I basically set up a girls trip with her friends for her and said you going. But she doesn’t have one hobby. She has friends she talks to daily. I do not. Why you think I am posting this here. Between work and family life. I don’t have time for friends.

 

[Bern381]

I only missed one season. Actually part of one. My unit was activated for Operation Desert Storm. It killed me to miss the rut. Hunting and marriage are never easy especially when kids are involved. The best advice I can give is to start raising your kids in the hunting lifestyle. My daughter and son watched many hours of hunting videos in addition to spending time fishing and camping. My kids love to hunt, shoot, and fish. I figured early on that if I wanted to hunt the kids would have to be involved. I couldn’t ask for two better hunting buddies. My wife has softened up to the point that gladly let’s us go. She is also a big fan of deer in the freezer.

 

[barlow96]

I only missed one season. Actually part of one. My unit was activated for Operation Desert Storm. It killed me to miss the rut. Hunting and marriage are never easy especially when kids are involved. The best advice I can give is to start raising your kids in the hunting lifestyle. My daughter and son watched many hours of hunting videos in addition to spending time fishing and camping. My kids love to hunt, shoot, and fish. I figured early on that if I wanted to hunt the kids would have to be involved. I couldn’t ask for two better hunting buddies. My wife has softened up to the point that gladly let’s us go. She is also a big fan of deer in the freezer.

Oh yea I plan to get him involved. He already talks about it. And the kid has some high standards for a 4 year old. He doesn’t want to kill does or little bucks. Only big bucks. I have been taking him since last year. We saw some does and he started telling me immediately I couldn’t shot them.

 

[Plebe]

Have any of you guys taking a year off from hunting to reset. I have a 4 year old and he likes to go when he can. But I know his fine will eventually expand to longer sits and more time in woods. Next season he will be 4.5. When I am hunting by myself, Normally I hunt at least 20-30 days worth of the season. This is burning vacation time from work to make hunts. Weather there out of state or draw hunts that last 2 to 5 day periods. Some stacked on top of each other. My wife has grown to hate hunting. Mainly due to the spending money and being away from home. I really love hunting. But trying to fix my wife. Will this move help or will this something she will think as a permanent thing that I just quit hunting all together.

Thoughts guys. I am thinking of just knocking my time in the woods to my favorite week of the year and that is it. So just 7 days of getting after it.

Only twice in my life have I had 20-30 days to hunt in a season. I ate tag soup trying to outdo everyone.

I took my biggest buck to date on the first day out, in the first hour, of a year where I had at most three days to hunt.

I’ve missed years due to work, I’ve missed days due to life. My wife even scared off a huge buck because she thought I was on the phone with my brother and it was dinner-time (long story).

I’m learning to relax and enjoy the days I don’t miss.

If you focus on the days you couldn’t hunt, it’ll bring you down.

I’m goal oriented and after nice bucks. But, I’m finding more and more there’s nothing to prove and it’s made me appreciate time afield more fully.

Last year, the buck I was after walked by my setup on two days I planned to hunt, but I got hung up and had to cancel on those hunts. Luckily, it looks like he’ll have a chance to do it again this year, or maybe not. Time will tell, best enjoy the time we have.

 

[Bach55]

I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Been thinking about the same conundrum. This year I may use some PTO to do some week day hunts on public that’s about an hour from home. Figured I can drop them off at daycare and be there by ~8:30am. Then maybe just stalk around and try and find something on its feet. I would likely try and leave by 4pm so that my wife isn’t stranded at home by herself. I’d essentially be hunting the time of day that no one seemingly plans to hunt, but...I’d be in the field, could probably learn some new land, and it only takes one! If I could take one doe and learn a few things doing this 3-4x I would consider that a huge win.

 

[EricS]

Just throttle it back some and find a happy medium. As your son gets older and your marriage matures it’ll bother her less for you to be gone more. I still have to deal with it every year myself. Especially when I make several overnight trips within a month or so span.
Word of advice, when she makes her anger about all the time and effort you’ll put into planning a hunting trip but you don’t want to plan a trip for you and her “it’s easier to plan something you actually want to do” is not the right answer. Even if it’s true.

 

[barlow96]

I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Been thinking about the same conundrum. This year I may use some PTO to do some week day hunts on public that’s about an hour from home. Figured I can drop them off at daycare and be there by ~8:30am. Then maybe just stalk around and try and find something on its feet. I would likely try and leave by 4pm so that my wife isn’t stranded at home by herself. I’d essentially be hunting the time of day that no one seemingly plans to hunt, but...I’d be in the field, could probably learn some new land, and it only takes one! If I could take one doe and learn a few things doing this 3-4x I would consider that a huge win.

The best time of the day for me to hunt is from 11-3. That’s when I see the most bucks.

 

[Bigterp]

I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Been thinking about the same conundrum. This year I may use some PTO to do some week day hunts on public that’s about an hour from home. Figured I can drop them off at daycare and be there by ~8:30am. Then maybe just stalk around and try and find something on its feet. I would likely try and leave by 4pm so that my wife isn’t stranded at home by herself. I’d essentially be hunting the time of day that no one seemingly plans to hunt, but...I’d be in the field, could probably learn some new land, and it only takes one! If I could take one doe and learn a few things doing this 3-4x I would consider that a huge win.

I think you will be pleasantly surprised how effective this strategy could be!!

 

[woodsdog2]

I have a 3.5 year old and 5 month old. Been thinking about the same conundrum. This year I may use some PTO to do some week day hunts on public that’s about an hour from home. Figured I can drop them off at daycare and be there by ~8:30am. Then maybe just stalk around and try and find something on its feet. I would likely try and leave by 4pm so that my wife isn’t stranded at home by herself. I’d essentially be hunting the time of day that no one seemingly plans to hunt, but...I’d be in the field, could probably learn some new land, and it only takes one! If I could take one doe and learn a few things doing this 3-4x I would consider that a huge win.

Spot on strategy bro!!!

 

[woodsdog2]

The best time of the day for me to hunt is from 11-3. That’s when I see the most bucks.

During the rut, for sure!!!

 

[Hall17]

I have a 1.5 year old and last year I would drop him off at daycare at 8:30 and be set up by 9:30. I would hunt depending on the day till 3pm or dark. This was during the rut. My wife is pretty good about hunting however I am a very involved dad. I take my little boy everywhere with me. To the grocery store, Auto Zone, hikes, etc. My wife misses him but she appreciates the free time as I do coming hunting season. Because of all the one on one time I spend with him I know she is more understanding of my time in the woods. I do hunt a lot (I think) for the average hunter. I typically hunt 10-12 days in Spring Gobbler and up to 30 days for deer season (from October till mid January). Most of those hunts are 2-4 hour hunts in the evenings after work. I don't go out on Saturdays anymore but I know I am lucky enough to hunt during the week unlike most. I have buddies wives that despise hunting but I know they also do not do much with their kids and feel like there is a lot of resentment from their wives. Everyone is different but I do know one thing. Good clear communication goes A LONG WAY in my wife understanding what hunting means to me. It also goes the other way. Me fully understanding her needs throughout the year make my life much happier and easier!

 

[Lowg08]

I quit for a number of years. I stopped deer hunting at age 18. We had a very lucrative lease in Georgia. Turned out to be mostly killing and I lost that excitement. We lost the lease and I stopped. It also was in part to learning about bear hunting with dogs at 16. I did that up until ten years ago. Just too much money and hassle from the wildlife. Also a kid and a wife and then another kid and same wife. I just recently started back close to three years ago but when my boy showed interest I decided to try again. I did take a different angle. I am only back country hunting for mature bucks and bears in the national forest of North Carolina and branching out hopefully later. I will only hunt mountains. I have now grown to love the whole chess match and time in the woods

 

[Kyhunter1]

I wouldn't take a year off for my wife. Would have to be something major requiring it before I would ever consider that. 22 years in she knows me not hunting is not a option. If she gets to the point she cant deal with my hunting, I will find somebody that will.

 

[sweats]

I took about a decade off. I moved to a different state for school and it wasn't realistically possible for a very long time.

I don't have kids so I can't speak to that aspect specifically. However, in my opinion any good relationship does involve real compromise on both sides. You have to honestly assess the division of labor and responsibilities and make sure you aren't unduly burdening your spouse.

You also have to be able to openly discuss anything and not let resentment build. Both sides are going to hear things they probably won't like, but long term things work better if you get in the habit of confronting things head on.

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