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Jokes and Memes - NO POLITICS

HuumanCreed

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Joined
Aug 21, 2020
Messages
1,563
Location
Westminster Maryland
Hahaha. No Joke, I used to live in an Army's barrack built in the 50s. All the other buildings around it has been demo and newer buildings replaced them. But because an endanger bat species live in the attic, the EPA would not allow the base to destroy the building, so they just keep renovating it over and over for decades. My roommate was attack by a bat once and had to file a report to the base commander because he slam the door on the bat and killed it.

Worse part was that the Airmen who stay in the same building as us all got extra pay because it was considered 'substandard housing'.....I was REALLY pissed when I found that out.

Note: No, its not a myth. They do get extra pay because I used to be the barrack's NCO and had to sign memos for Airmen so they can submit the request to their unit.
 
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Exhumis

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SH Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2019
Messages
2,820
Location
Northern Virginia
Hahaha. No Joke, I used to live in an Army's barrack built in the 50s. All the other buildings around it has been demo and newer buildings replaced them. But because an endanger bat species live in the attic, the EPA would not allow the base to destroy the building, so they just keep renovating it over and over for decades. My roommate was attack by a bat once and had to file a report to the base commander because he slam the door on the bat and killed it.

Worse part was that the Airmen who stay in the same building as us all got extra pay because it was considered 'substandard housing'.....I was REALLY pissed when I found that out.

Note: No, its not a myth. They do get extra pay because I used to be the barrack's NCO and had to sign memos for Airmen so they can submit the request to their unit.
Absolutely 100% believe that. The barracks in Okinawa for the Marines were so bad the Air Force wouldn’t allow their Airmen to stay there.
 

Jay_Disarray

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Joined
Oct 7, 2019
Messages
1,706
Location
MN
My brother was in the Army. When I was going to sign up to serve he told me to go Air Force. Best decision of my life.
I actually tried to join the army, they rejected me for medical reasons (I have a medical screw in my face). They told me I could never be combat ready so the army had no use for me.

The air force accepted me and my 95 asvab score, and tbh I'm glad I didn't go army. Use my brain instead of brawn.
 

MNFarmHunter

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Joined
Jun 6, 2021
Messages
1,434
Location
Minnesota
I actually tried to join the army, they rejected me for medical reasons (I have a medical screw in my face). They told me I could never be combat ready so the army had no use for me.

The air force accepted me and my 95 asvab score, and tbh I'm glad I didn't go army. Use my brain instead of brawn.
By chance did you go through MEPS in downtown Mpls?

There was a midget doctor there with a jacked up head and coke bottle glasses. When you'd do your UA, he would in a perfect yoda voice say, "Use the force you will, fill the cup you must". Kinda hard to pee in a cup when you're laughing.
 

CooterBrown

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Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
1,485
By chance did you go through MEPS in downtown Mpls?

There was a midget doctor there with a jacked up head and coke bottle glasses. When you'd do your UA, he would in a perfect yoda voice say, "Use the force you will, fill the cup you must". Kinda hard to pee in a cup when you're laughing.
I didn't know @Jay_Disarray was a midget and had a jacket up head and coke bottle glasses
 

HuumanCreed

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SH Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2020
Messages
1,563
Location
Westminster Maryland
I actually tried to join the army, they rejected me for medical reasons (I have a medical screw in my face). They told me I could never be combat ready so the army had no use for me.

The air force accepted me and my 95 asvab score, and tbh I'm glad I didn't go army. Use my brain instead of brawn.
The Army recruiting office I went to had a rock call the 'Rock of Shame'. It sit on the desk of the recruiter who applicant hold the lowest ASVAB test score in the office. My recruiter was the current owner with a 9.....A GOD DAMN 9! Just by selecting C the whole test you would of gotten a score of 20.

Got 98 myself :sunglasses:.
 

Iron_llama

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Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
665
Location
NW MN
The Army recruiting office I went to had a rock call the 'Rock of Shame'. It sit on the desk of the recruiter who applicant hold the lowest ASVAB test score in the office. My recruiter was the current owner with a 9.....A GOD DAMN 9! Just by selecting C the whole test you would of gotten a score of 20.

Got 98 myself :sunglasses:.
One of the ships I sailed on, we had a kid with an ASVAB score high enough to enlist in the Coast Guard, but not high enough to get accepted to any A-school (Soldiers, think AIT). Let's call him Scooter. At the time (late 90s) pretty much everyone had open contract enlistments, and you "struck" for a school once you got to your first command. Rescue swimmers, for example, had a 40-month wait list for their school, with the result that most rescue swimmers weren't eligible for training until their second enlistment. Other, less-selective schools, had a waitlist of a couple of months or even weeks.

Once Scooter realized his predicament he decided he wanted to strike Bosuns' Mate, as that was one of the few ratings you could get through On-The-Job Training, without going to an A-School. After about a week the deck apes wanted no part of his nonsense and he had to find a new home. Apparently chasing rust and chipping paint was too complicated for him, let alone tying knots. Eventually the cooks took pity on him and he started OJT. Really, this was almost certainly just a ploy to get a free cleaner / manual laborer. I swear, you could ask Scooter for a cup of instant ramen, and it would be somehow both burnt and frozen by the time you got it. One day he declared that he wanted to make omelets for breakfast, and, with much trepidation, Scooter was unleashed on the grill.

Turns out Scooter was an omelet Rain Man. I left the ship soon afterwards but as I recall, Scooter was the dedicated breakfast chef the rest of his enlistment. I don't know if he was ever trusted with something as complex as frozen pizza, but I'll always remember his omelets.
 

Fl Canopy Stalker

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Feb 4, 2021
Messages
3,475
True story......our owner got him 2 new jetskis, big old ocean pontoon, and building a new home right on the river so far this year....currently in design and production of a stainless steel infinity pool of the new house.....but u know what? He ain't got no mobile public land, kill em up, saddle hunting system now does he
Tell him I know a guy :sweatsmile:
 

Fl Canopy Stalker

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SH Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2021
Messages
3,475
The Army recruiting office I went to had a rock call the 'Rock of Shame'. It sit on the desk of the recruiter who applicant hold the lowest ASVAB test score in the office. My recruiter was the current owner with a 9.....A GOD DAMN 9! Just by selecting C the whole test you would of gotten a score of 20.

Got 98 myself :sunglasses:.
A 9? Does he have an obsession with crayons?
 
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