- Joined
- Oct 10, 2018
- Messages
- 1,377
This was posted on Rokslide and then on AT and I thought it was hilarious so I figured I'd share it here. No matter where you find yourself leaning in regards to bow tuning, if you can't appreciate the humor you're way too insecure and should seek medical help. . .
Over the past two years of learning all I can about archery (specifically tuning), I believe there are essentially four "schools of thought" regarding how you approach tuning (this is meant to be humorous; I don't care where I'm wrong, just go with it).
"The Four Schools of Bow Tuning"
The Ranch Fairy Method
If the animal is in close range, it will die regardless if your bow is tuned or you shot less than three arrows in the off-season.
Cons:
Shots over 20-30 yards suck. You have to watch a crazy Texan with a Spongebob fetish (this may be a pro for some).
2. The Bow Shop Method
Other than earning the cash to buy everything, you won't have to work too hard to have a tuned bow and shooting out to 30-40 yards with most broadheads.
Cons:
You may have some grouping issues that you'll never be able to explain or fix (or the shop won't know how or care to fix). You're susceptible to Ranch Fairy.
3. The Nock-On Knucklehead
You'll be committed to working towards perfect form and have a good understanding of how to correct some poor shots by moving your drop-away rest. Shots out to 60 yards are possible with practice (between workout sessions).
Cons:
You'd buy Nock-On brand condoms (or tampons) if they made them, but only in neon green.
4. The Super Tuners
So accurate that nothing is safe in the woods; if the animal is within 60-80 yards, it's dead or soon to be dead. Every issue can be corrected. A broadhead at 60 yards doesn't split the previous arrow? You'll fix that with a nanometer adjustment to you bow while checking your form.
Cons:
You'll get annoyed with all the invasive ranch bug talk that keeps coming up in forums. They still haven't made an arrow with 0.00000000000000001 weight/straightness consistency.
Over the past two years of learning all I can about archery (specifically tuning), I believe there are essentially four "schools of thought" regarding how you approach tuning (this is meant to be humorous; I don't care where I'm wrong, just go with it).
"The Four Schools of Bow Tuning"
The Ranch Fairy Method
- <$600 bow setup ideally from a clearance rack at Walmart
- All hunting situations involve animals walking 10 yards in front of you
- Proper form is something used to complete a background check
- .950 JDJ would be appropriate for squirrel hunting
- Spongebob
If the animal is in close range, it will die regardless if your bow is tuned or you shot less than three arrows in the off-season.
Cons:
Shots over 20-30 yards suck. You have to watch a crazy Texan with a Spongebob fetish (this may be a pro for some).
2. The Bow Shop Method
- $600-$1000 bow setup
- Comfortable having bow tuned at the shop with some coaching on form
- May dip their toe in tuning with fletching own arrows
- Prefer bow string colors matches truck… sunglasses… watchband… shoe laces…
- Whisker biscuit
Other than earning the cash to buy everything, you won't have to work too hard to have a tuned bow and shooting out to 30-40 yards with most broadheads.
Cons:
You may have some grouping issues that you'll never be able to explain or fix (or the shop won't know how or care to fix). You're susceptible to Ranch Fairy.
3. The Nock-On Knucklehead
- A bow setup <$1,000 is not a bow; it's a toy
- Practices archery form between kettlebell reps
- Spends $1000+ building a bow tuning workshop without knowing how to use it
- Looks over bow shop owner shoulder while questioning their methods
- Neon Green
You'll be committed to working towards perfect form and have a good understanding of how to correct some poor shots by moving your drop-away rest. Shots out to 60 yards are possible with practice (between workout sessions).
Cons:
You'd buy Nock-On brand condoms (or tampons) if they made them, but only in neon green.
4. The Super Tuners
- Have more bows than silverware
- Paper tuning is for beginners; use "the force"
- Responds to every archery question with a list of questions (what draw weight, what speed, what did you eat that morning, what phase was the moon in...)
- One does not simply move their rest
So accurate that nothing is safe in the woods; if the animal is within 60-80 yards, it's dead or soon to be dead. Every issue can be corrected. A broadhead at 60 yards doesn't split the previous arrow? You'll fix that with a nanometer adjustment to you bow while checking your form.
Cons:
You'll get annoyed with all the invasive ranch bug talk that keeps coming up in forums. They still haven't made an arrow with 0.00000000000000001 weight/straightness consistency.