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What's your dumbest injury?

I decided to butcher a hanging deer leg with a dull filet knife and then introduced the tip of that knife to the largest nerve running along the base of my thumb. That was a good 4 months of numb tingly thumb. Its been 3 years and it still only has about 90% of the feeling back.
 
Me and my friend were doing a fishing charter fishing for sharks...mean time clients were killin it with the haddock cod and red fish. Well client hooked a good haddock double brought it in the boat I grabbed like like I have 10x times took a fish off, grabbed shark rod baited the hook and said ok, well second client grabbed the rod and pulled it. Yup you guessed it, giant rusty shark hook right into the meat between my pointer and thumb...only one way out. Push it thru the other side and cut the hook. Cleaned it got home said ehh I’ll be good. Ended up being poked by more needles flushing my hand out than you can imagine....that took all summer to heal.
 
I was watching karate kid with my baby sister. She thought it was great and was sparring with me. I was half-heartedly playing with her and I blocked a pretty hearty crane kick. Felt a sharp pain and tumbled her over and let her know I was done. Next day it was black and still throbbing. Turns out she had broken my 5th metatarsal.

The nurses had a pretty good laugh at the little red headed girl on osh kosh overalls breaking the big, surley teen's hand...
 
Wow, I honestly can't think back to which one of my injuries was my dumbest... (I've had soo many)
 
Nailguns...
On the morning of one of my ER visits, I had breakfast with a guy whom I had partnered with on a construction project. We were gutting this huge old house and reframing part of the second floor and roof. We both mentioned this one guy on my crew Chris, who was a nice guy, but accident prone and an idiot. He had just recently cut one of his fingers longways on a tablesaw doing the exact thing I had shown him 1000 times not to do. We both said we would direct him to only scrape paint, sweep, clean up trash, etc.
I was framing on the second floor of this house, standing on the floor joists. I was having Chris hand me precut boards and I would attach them. I got into a spot against a wall and instead of getting up to reach the place I needed to be to nail the board in, I decided to be lazy and I handed the nailgun to Chris to nail in the board that I would hold.
He put the frame nail gun on bump-fire without me noticing. Bump fire is where you hold the trigger down and ram the nose of the gun into the work piece. Its great for high volume work like sheathing, but terribly unsafe for precision work like framing. Specifically not for framing. Anyway, I held a board and Chris shot a nail completely over the board I was holding and directly into my hand sideways, from thumb webbing through my whole palm to my pinky side. It was a 3 or 3.25' ring shank framing nail, that was collated with paper. My hand saved my junk from a direct hit, without a doubt.
I pulled the nail out myself, almost out of instinct. It only bled a drop, and by the time I was outside by my truck telling the guys I was going to the ER, I was half convinced by one of the guys that it had just grazed me. It didn't hurt until I got to the ER and they started digging, and it never bled. They told me next time leave the object in for them to remove.

Twice I have been holding a work piece with one hand and nailing it in with a finish nail gun on the other and my finish nail made a U-turn when it hit the second surface and went through my thumb once and index finger once.

Once I walked into a room a jobsite where my crew was goofing off and shooting a finish nail gun at a soda can in a window across a large room. Everyone instantly dropped what they were doing when I walked in, because I was the boss. I thought I would play it cool and join in. I shot 1 nail and it somehow bounced directly back into my face, hitting my safety glasses and cutting my forehead and eyebrow. It didn't hurt at all, but bled like crazy and to stop for the day.
 
Nailguns...
On the morning of one of my ER visits, I had breakfast with a guy whom I had partnered with on a construction project. We were gutting this huge old house and reframing part of the second floor and roof. We both mentioned this one guy on my crew Chris, who was a nice guy, but accident prone and an idiot. He had just recently cut one of his fingers longways on a tablesaw doing the exact thing I had shown him 1000 times not to do. We both said we would direct him to only scrape paint, sweep, clean up trash, etc.
I was framing on the second floor of this house, standing on the floor joists. I was having Chris hand me precut boards and I would attach them. I got into a spot against a wall and instead of getting up to reach the place I needed to be to nail the board in, I decided to be lazy and I handed the nailgun to Chris to nail in the board that I would hold.
He put the frame nail gun on bump-fire without me noticing. Bump fire is where you hold the trigger down and ram the nose of the gun into the work piece. Its great for high volume work like sheathing, but terribly unsafe for precision work like framing. Specifically not for framing. Anyway, I held a board and Chris shot a nail completely over the board I was holding and directly into my hand sideways, from thumb webbing through my whole palm to my pinky side. It was a 3 or 3.25' ring shank framing nail, that was collated with paper. My hand saved my junk from a direct hit, without a doubt.
I pulled the nail out myself, almost out of instinct. It only bled a drop, and by the time I was outside by my truck telling the guys I was going to the ER, I was half convinced by one of the guys that it had just grazed me. It didn't hurt until I got to the ER and they started digging, and it never bled. They told me next time leave the object in for them to remove.

Twice I have been holding a work piece with one hand and nailing it in with a finish nail gun on the other and my finish nail made a U-turn when it hit the second surface and went through my thumb once and index finger once.

Once I walked into a room a jobsite where my crew was goofing off and shooting a finish nail gun at a soda can in a window across a large room. Everyone instantly dropped what they were doing when I walked in, because I was the boss. I thought I would play it cool and join in. I shot 1 nail and it somehow bounced directly back into my face, hitting my safety glasses and cutting my forehead and eyebrow. It didn't hurt at all, but bled like crazy and to stop for the day.
I have a big divot on the bridge of my nose from a nail I shot into my face.... :)
 
I was on a 4wheeldrive trip and 1of out group broke a rear axle shaft...the axle had a press on bearing that needed to be removed and reinstall on the spare axle so we could get moving again....so we are on the side of a mountain with limited hand tool. As I'm knocking the bearing down the axle shaft with a piece of log and a big hammer the outer bearing race exploded into a million tiny little pieces. I had blood running out my cheek below my eye. Wipe away blood, finish task, go wheeling for the rest of our trip...fast forward 4 days when I get back to florida and I get out of my first good shower in a while and I notice a piece of that bearing race stuck in my face and the skin grown over....fast forward 20 years and it's still there...hasn't rusted away like I thought it would....I freak out the kids with magnets sticking to my face
 
Stupidest thing I ever did was about 20 years ago when I stepped off a ladder stand in the dark thinking I was on the last rung next to the ground, except I was still about 8ft off the ground. Knocked the wind out of me, but other than that wasn’t hurt. To this day I have no Idea what I was thinking at the time. Mmmm....I may have also taken a yard dart to the face when I was about 12.
 
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Seems like everyone has a nial gun story. So heres mine. Doing some framing one summer and the guy who was nailing had the pressure up to high on the compressor. I was holding two pieces to nail a window frame together and he comes in at an angle and blows the corner of the board off and shoots me in the tip of the right thumb behind the finger nail and down through the thumb and out the other side just below the knuckle. I pulled it and drove the standard to the hospital where they did an irrigation with saline that hurt 10x worse than the nail. I lost a couple of hours but managed to finish out the day.
 
Last summer my 5 year old son stuck me in the Achilles with a pitchfork...almost came out the bottom of my heel....hit the heel bone...had to take some nasty antibiotics which killed al the good bacteria in my gut...you know what that means.... Couldnt walk for almost 2 weeks., walked with a ski pole for a cane for a couple months....just getting back to normal now. Hunted out of a treestand last year, couldn't handle the pressure on my achilles...

He was just playing around....standing behind me and decided to stab it in the ground...well he missed the ground...
 
Seems like everyone has a nial gun story. So heres mine. Doing some framing one summer and the guy who was nailing had the pressure up to high on the compressor. I was holding two pieces to nail a window frame together and he comes in at an angle and blows the corner of the board off and shoots me in the tip of the right thumb behind the finger nail and down through the thumb and out the other side just below the knuckle. I pulled it and drove the standard to the hospital where they did an irrigation with saline that hurt 10x worse than the nail. I lost a couple of hours but managed to finish out the day.
That irrigation is the worst thing I’ve ever been thru!
 
Thankfully not to many stupid injuries
But my absolute most moronic injury or injuries I should add was back about 33 years ago was checking out one of my favorite salmon trout creeks that although nit running over its banks it was easily 4 or five feet deeper than normal and the currently was quite strong Me and two friends were staning on an immense cottonwood that had fallen across the creek and my one friend about 5'9" and 150 grabs some vines and does a Tarzan of the jungle and swings out over the rushing creek.
He then dares me to do it. I reply dont think so as I'm 6" taller and 100lbs heavier at least. Then the woosy shaming sets in and sure enough I swing out and back then my friend says that was barely a few feet do it again and I did.

But this time the vines snapped and in to the freezing cold April spring snow melt run off I plunge and disappeared beneath the massive cottonwood
I Thankfully got stuck straddling a large limb and was slammed into the submerged underside of the tree.
I knew a huge log jam was just down from the tree so if I got free of the tree I would be swept into and below it and that would be my untimely end
I started clawing and wiggling my way up the tree and managed to get a foot planted on a limb and pushed up till I felt water braking over the back of my head. But ironically I still couldn't get my nose and mouth above the water to take a breath.
Mean time my friend spots my head and proceeds to grab a hand full of hair and starts pulling I start shaking his hand as I know I'm about to have a chunk of scalp ripped off courtesy of my well meaning but misguided friend. After a little more wiggling and pushing with my foot off the limb I got my nose above water enough to get some air rest a bit gather my strength and start again Thankfully I got my other foot on a limb and got my entire head above water and then my friends got and of my arms and we got me out.
Now for the injuries.
Was standing around laughing with my friends at my close call when I noticed my finger tips starting to ache. When I looked at them I first thought it was mud cached on my finger nails but quickly figured out I had jammed tree bark to varying depths under all my fingers except my thumbs.
Ended up going to my doctor to get the bark removeded.
A very unpleasant experience I assure you.
 
Back in 2003 we had a big winter storm with nobody allowed on the roads. I was laying down on the couch and my dog by me on the floor he was a chow/golden retriever mix. as I got up from the couch I accidentally stepped on his tail and scared him he jumped up and bit me in the face just half inch from missing my eye I ran to the bathroom with my hand one my face started to see that my hand was covered in blood got it to settle down to heal but no hospital trip no stitches was hiding the right side of my face from my dad all weekend still have the scars but hardly noticeable
 
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