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Jokes and Memes - NO POLITICS

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Sign we saw at a junk store Saturday.


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So a guy walks into Lowes and up to the custom wood counter and ask for some 2x4's. The guy behind the counter asked how long he would like his boards. The customer replies pretty long I'm building a garage.
 
Iron_llama said:
When I drove wreckers one of our mechanics invoiced a woman for a flux capacitor.

He replaced her alternator and charged honest book for it, just called it a flux capacitor. I wish I kept a copy of the invoice.
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True story. A coworker of mine at a previous job had his wife picking up some parts at the auto parts store for him. She called him to confirm the parts he needed on her way there. He told her while she was there to get some muffler bearings and halogen fluid for the headlights. She called him back 15 minutes later and I could hear her cussing him and telling him she was never going to the auto parts store for him again.
 
GCTerpfan said:
True story. A coworker of mine at a previous job had his wife picking up some parts at the auto parts store for him. She called him to confirm the parts he needed on her way there. He told her while she was there to get some muffler bearings and halogen fluid for the headlights. She called him back 15 minutes later and I could hear her cussing him and telling him she was never going to the auto parts store for him again.
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We used to do that the new people who started working at the autoparts store. We'd have the shop call and make sure they got the new guy and ask him for diesel exhaust fluid (wasn't really a thing back then), or a thermostat for a Corvair, etc.
 
jakev383 said:
We used to do that the new people who started working at the autoparts store. We'd have the shop call and make sure they got the new guy and ask him for diesel exhaust fluid (wasn't really a thing back then), or a thermostat for a Corvair, etc.
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We did the same thing aboard ship... wrap a boot up in aluminum foil and have him sprint up and down the pier to calibrate the radar. Go look for a bucket of steam or propwash, or the keys to the sea chest, or go get a BM1 punch from Bos'uns Mate First Class Soandso, find me 10 meters of gigline or 30 meters of shoreline, etc., etc.
 
We have a base in my town and lots of squids....I'm sure u boys are fine fellas but growing up and drinking in the bars in my town I not the biggest fan of the semen.....

Maybe it's cause they were just getting home from deployment with lots cash +booze +boobs = douchy bags....I don't know. I lived on the other side of town from base and we went over there whenever we wanted to go fight/beat somebody up. They started it everytime....hehehehe

Maybe some of u been thru mayport....u remember paradise alley?
 
Weldabeast said:
We have a base in my town and lots of squids....I'm sure u boys are fine fellas but growing up and drinking in the bars in my town I not the biggest fan of the semen.....

Maybe it's cause they were just getting home from deployment with lots cash +booze +boobs = douchy bags....I don't know. I lived on the other side of town from base and we went over there whenever we wanted to go fight/beat somebody up. They started it everytime....hehehehe

Maybe some of u been thru mayport....u remember paradise alley?
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I was in the Coast Guard, never passed through Mayport but did spend a bit of time in Key West.

Port calls are kinda wild, you're in a place you have zero connection to, and you had no say in the decision to go there. You're there with your buddies and you have your own agenda, which usually focuses on alcohol and socializing, away from the judgmental eyes of your leadership. Sometimes, one may forget to be a polite and gracious visitor. Which doesn't excuse anything, if it does explain it.

Years later I lived and worked (non-DOD) near Ft. Huachuca, AZ. Bumping into crowds of young Soldiers in town, I got to see a bit of it from the other side.
 
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