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New baby, hunting time

lungpuncher1

lungpuncher1

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
250
Back in December my wife and I welcomed our first child. A beautiful healthy little girl, and she’s such a great baby. We’re very blessed.

As hunting season closes in I am constantly analyzing my schedule (shift work, I’m off 14 days a month) to see when I can hunt, or if. I’m not going to go out of state this year as I’m keeping things realistic and easy on my wife who also works. I have several great properties locally I can hunt.

My question is what did the first year of hunting as a new father look for those of you that have been in my shoes? My wife and child are #1 priority but I’d be lying if I said hunting isn’t a big deal to me. Also when did out of state, 3-4 night trips resume? I understand this is a very situational question but I’m just curious of others experiences. Thanks
 
Somehow tapatalk posted this 4 times simultaneously. Can a mod delete the extras.


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First year was a dramatic reduction in time afield, and it has only marginally improved in the four years since. This year I might finally get to do our 2-4 day deer camp. It all depends on who you married and how much favor you can accumulate before and during season.
 
neonomad said:
First year was a dramatic reduction in time afield, and it has only marginally improved in the four years since. This year I might finally get to do our 2-4 day deer camp. It all depends on who you married and how much favor you can accumulate before and during season.
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She’s always been pretty awesome with the hunting. Usually one trip a year and I basically hunted every off day that I wanted to.

I’m definitely not wishing time away but I think once the little one is in daycare next fall it’ll be back to the way it was somewhat. We just don’t want to stay daycare until she’s walking obviously.
 
neonomad said:
First year was a dramatic reduction in time afield, and it has only marginally improved in the four years since. This year I might finally get to do our 2-4 day deer camp. It all depends on who you married and how much favor you can accumulate before and during season.
Click to expand...

She’s always been pretty awesome with the hunting. Usually one trip a year and I basically hunted every off day that I wanted to.

I’m definitely not wishing time away but I think once the little one is in daycare next fall it’ll be back to the way it was somewhat. We just don’t want to stay daycare until she’s walking obviously.
 
I had I big write up for ya & my phone glitched
Short version , invest in your family you’ll never regret it.

Be focused on your times out & hunt high odds scenario’s bc they’ll be less often.

Lower your standards of success while you have less time to hunt, it will be more enjoyable.

Find a balance that lets your family know they come first but gets you in a tree to get your mind right. Set reasonable expectations ( pro tip plan to go out every once in awhile & sleep in & have breakfast with the wife & kids, that’s huge money in the bank)

Don’t obsess over success & big deer

Find a way to get your kids outdoors & MAKE IT FUN. You’ll also get increased opportunities if they want to go out with you & at some point Momma gets a weekend alone or a some time with her girlfriends. On that note if your wife has some hobbies during the raising kids stage that’s helpful/ healthy.

That’s plenty, congratulations be a great dad. Taxidermy will follow later.
 
Kid #1, we moved to be closer to the inlaws. That was the best thing we ever did. Good people, they help a ton, and it definitely helps keep both of us sane. First fall after she was born I went on my last-for-now elk hunt. Kid #1 really was pretty easy, she went to SAHM for a while and carried most of the load.

Kid #2, we spaced a little too close in hindsight, they're 18 months apart. And he was a lot more difficult baby. Just a loud dude, constantly screaming. Those first couple years after he was born were tough. The first fall after he was born I probably hunted a little too much. Escapism, maybe? Ended up killing a great buck, on the last day I could hunt, she was at wit's end. The memory is a little bittersweet because I know I pushed it too far that season. Sometimes you gotta go over the edge to find where it's at, right? Learned then to better communicate and not be prickly about getting my way.

Kid #3 was 4 years later, and she was the easiest baby. We just figured a lot out and matured over the span of the first two I guess too. Once you get good at raising babies, you're done. She's 16 months now. Financially the most stressful because we needed a bigger car and eventually a bigger house, but life-wise, it was a breezy addition. Wife is back to working PT, big kids are starting to get into activities, life is hectic, but it's good.

Finally getting back into out of state hunting a bit now, going for a few days a season to bordering states starting last season. I still fish some and I play and coach baseball, those also take up time, so priorities and all. Golfing and a lot of my fishing/camping/general adventuring have fallen by the wayside. I have like 2 friends now, that's probably one of the tougher parts of adulting as I've done it, a lot of people just fall off to acquaintance or stranger status.

At the end of the day though it's all about what works for you. Comparing situations is no bueno, we all do it, but it's not useful or productive in any way.

Take care of yourself too and take care of mama. Postpartum depression is real, and it can hit men too. I was severely out of whack after our middle kid. I wish I cold have months of misery back just to appreciate what's good in life.
 
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Tactics-wise, I've for one become a lot more efficiency-minded. I scout more, hunt less, and retain as much weather flexibility as I can. When I burn capital to hunt, I want to be in the game.

Everyone's schedule is going to vary, but for us mornings work way better than evenings. I'm up early and already home just as everyone is getting up and ready for the day. Evenings is bed time, and bed time is chaos. When I go in the morning, I might get handed kids for the rest of the day and wife has some time to herself. That's fair, all good.

My experience, some of the couples that struggle the most in these regards, one partner or the other just can't handle the kids alone and it becomes an obvious barrier to the other or both. My wife and I are both willing to handle them alone and trade off time so we can each live our own lives still too. Works well for us.
 
The only person who can really answer this is you and your wife. @Bigterp mentioned focusing on high odds hunts, if your wife is flexible and can roll with last minute plan changes this is a great strategy. My wife needs things scheduled and to know when things will happen, so it doesn't work well for me, I tried it last year and passed on some days in the stand because conditions were marginal at best, then had great conditions I couldn't go hunt two days later:cry:. So my strategy this year is hunt when I can even if conditions suck, there will be places I wont hunt when conditions suck, but if I can hunt without having to convince my wife or rearrange things schedule-wise, I'll be out in the woods.
 
Managing expectations and quality over quantity is what worked for me and mine. Realizing it’s a stage and the kids will grow and become easier to manage. Work with your wife - helping out more, getting stuff done beforehand such as laundry, etc so she doesn’t have to do it will go a long way so she’s not irritated when you’re in the woods. Helping her understand that’s how you destress and then afford her the opportunity to destress as well.
 
Everyone's a bit different, but I have never regretted more time with my kids. The woods and the deer will be there when they are older, they are only kids once. Mine are only 5 and 7. I also think that time in the woods is necessary for my sanity. When my kids were small and I was still with their mom we'd set a weekend and trade-,I'd get to disappear Saturday, she would Sunday, etc. In hindsight this was partially because we didn't find restoration in much of our time together, and have since split, but if there's also some time for the two of you to be together as adults and together with the kiddo, a balance can be struck in a healthy relationship as well I'd think.

Seems like you're on the right track with your priorities (as far as one internet stranger can say to another by reading your post), I'd suggest sitting down with the wife and talking honestly about what you want, what she wants, and then how you can find a balance. Then, once a schedule is set, stick with it regardless of weather etc. I had a few weekends where my hunting plans got messed up by thunderstorms or the like, but long term I think just sticking with the schedule and using those days to work on other projects instead of trying to shuffle hunting days to better weather was the right call for me. This upcoming season is my first one as a single guy/co parent, so half of the time I'll have my kids with me, and it's all about them, the other half of the time I hope to be in the woods as much as possible, even a mid week after-work hunt is possible for a hour or two depending on how far away your hunting spots are and how much daylight is left. Hunt from the ground after work and pretty much all you need is to get in there with your bow/gun.

Good luck, with your kid and your upcoming season.
 
Work and family have almost always been very restrictive on my time afield. I've just learned to respect that it's a blessing to be able to hunt at all and to focus on enjoying my time afield. I'm still very self driven to have successful hunts, but I don't let that weigh on me like it could. I've learned to be content with not punching my tag if I don't get a chance at a good buck, or taking what's given if I feel like it, when time is really tight.

Some of my nicest bucks were taken in years I only had just one day or less than a handful in total to hunt. And some years when I've had more time, I've eaten tags holding out.

You always stack up more memories than bucks, so I try to enjoy them most.
 
lungpuncher1 said:
My question is what did the first year of hunting as a new father look for those of you that have been in my shoes?
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I was a new father and I went hunting 4 times last year and didn't regret it one bit. My priorities changed as they should. It was hard to stomach at first going from a daily after work hunter to almost zilch but it's worth it and I think you'll probably understand when the time comes. I filled 2 doe tags, didn't get my "target buck" but didn't really care.
If you've ever talked to some of the old heads, they mention they regret not spending time with their kids when they're young which is time you can never get back.
Make your hunts count if you can get out and if you can't, don't sweat it. I spend more time "hiking" (we're actually scouting) with the whole family then I ever have and use this to hunt my top spots when I get the chance.
 
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I think the part that bothers me the most isn’t not getting time to hunt immediately this year as I’ve been pretty successful in and out of state over the years. It’s the possibility of it becoming the new normal and all my hard work of acquiring permission on the private farms I have dwindling away.

Sounds crazy I know but I’ve really worked hard over the last 10 years and have some great private land and great relationships with those who own it. But if I just stop showing I’m afraid that will fade away.
 
There is a monster buck in some woods near you somewhere. Somewhere else there is a seven month old monster in a crib or on the ground laying there pooping and eating and having a grand old time. In the middle is a mommy bear.

Two of these characters are depending on you, one isn’t. If you can figure out which two mean more long term to you, you will be just fine.

I know this because my dad has hunting magazines from the 70’s and 80’s and I noticed the bucks look the exact same then as they do now. I also remember my dad and I doing things as far back as when I was five.

The deer will be there. Year after year.Mamma bear may or may not based on your decisions. Usually babies go with their mammas.
 
For our first, time was cut down quite a bit and I don’t do any out of state hunts. I kept my gun deer camp and turkey camp, but made both just two day trips. We now have 4 kids, but I’ve gained back some time.

Basically be realistic with your expectations. Know that time will be cut back and be ok with that. Always try to do more at home than what you think is “enough”. My view has always been that kids at home is such a short time of your life, so make the most of it.
 
lungpuncher1 said:
I think the part that bothers me the most isn’t not getting time to hunt immediately this year as I’ve been pretty successful in and out of state over the years. It’s the possibility of it becoming the new normal and all my hard work of acquiring permission on the private farms I have dwindling away.

Sounds crazy I know but I’ve really worked hard over the last 10 years and have some great private land and great relationships with those who own it. But if I just stop showing I’m afraid that will fade away.
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How far is your out of state stuff from you now?
 
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