SH I'm reaching out for y'all

[Blinginpse]

Fellas this coming Sunday 2 weeks ago my life fell to pieces. My wife left me after a touch over 4 years. We have been up and down over the time of our marriage and it's been on both of our accounts. She is from about 1:15mins away from where we live here on my family farm where I work. Beef and dairy.

She has struggled adjusting and always wanted to go and do and such but never understand I couldn't just do that. My father has added a lot of stress on me for most of my life. Worked me like a dog never appreciated anything I've ever done and she tried to get me to stand up to him to get him to help me a little so I could get away. I finally stuck my ground to him Tuesday after she left but it's seemingly to late.

I'm struggling with with this and not quiet sure how to deal with it or where to start for recovery. Most of you know me as a cut up but this has sucked the life out of me. I am
Going to meet with preacher man tonight and his wife and talk with them. I'm in a hole right now that is making me see why people
Commit suicide.

I cannot explain what it took to unleash 20-25 years of lent up hurt and anger to my daddy before getting started working that morning and then trying to deal With her gone. I held it all In for 9 days never talked to a soul and finally I've had to Let it out. My mother is a drunk has been all my life. I do not wanna go down that road I know better. I need some advice.

I don't typically air out any mess like this but I'm smart enough to know I'm in a situation right now that I've never been in and it's bigger than what I can deal with alone

 

[Ontariofarmer]

I will pray for you, your wife and the preacher giving direction. Man that is tough. Don't give up on yourself or your wife, Satan loves suicide... God loves you and you are not alone.

Ps 46:1
46 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
NKJV

 

[DragginRope]

Keep your head up brother! I am an Iraq War combat veteran and deal with PTSD and anxiety everyday. You are dealing with a lot right now, but it will definitely get better. When you're at the bottom you can only go up. Take it one day at a time and look for the positive in life.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

 

[Jefferson10940]

Keep your head up brother. Getting things out is a necessary process. Great men rise from the bottom to do great things. Suicide is the most selfish thing anyone can do in my opinion. There are many people who love and care for you. Let them help you, not mourn you. Call me if you need to talk with someone with non judging ears. Pm me for my number!

 

[clint6760]

Man sorry to hear that. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but i pray and hope it gets better for you. My only advice is time heals everything. Sounds like you are in a rough spot with no one to fall back on with bad parents and no significant other.

I just know that everything will work itself out eventually and you have nowhere to go but up. Keep busy with work and hunting to keep your mind off things for now. Going to church would lift your spirits too. I’ll pray for you. Hang in there.

 

[EricS]

Meeting with the preacher will help. If you both could meet with the preacher that would probably help. Try to find enjoyment from things you do have and try to take time to reflect on what’s important to you. Don’t necessarily focus on what you lost. Take some time to get away from your problems. I’m praying for you, your wife, and your family. If your thoughts get too dark get some help. There’s no shame in getting help through a rough patch in your life. If it takes a pill or just a hug from a friendly face do something to feel better.

 

[g2outdoors]

You are not alone. Many of us have been through similar situations.

Unfortunately, not much is going to make you feel better except talking about it. Time eventually heals all wounds. Keep your head up and be grateful for all the blessings in your life. There are a lot of them even though it doesn't feel like it right now!

 

[redsquirrel]

I second what the others have said. Hang in there. Getting things out with your preacher will help. Things can really suck sometimes but time helps heal many things.

 

[kelly.jayp]

takes a brave, strong man to do what you just did. You have the first piece of the rebuild process and that is awareness - remember when one door closes another opens - use this time to put yourself back on track, and make yourself a priority - you're no good to anyone else unless you are in a good place yourself. Sounds like you don't have kids? If so that is one less complication - that makes it infinitely harder. God speed to you - keep reaching out to let us know how you are doing.

 

[flinginairos]

Glad I could talk to you today brother. And remember what I told you, you need someone to talk to call me!

 

[Erniepower]

We are here for you brother. It takes more strength than anyone realizes to reach out and ask for help. If you need anything. even if its just somebody to bitch to, give me a shout.

Not to get religious on you, but in my lowest time of my life, an almost complete stranger told me "If he brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." I don't know if that helps at all, but I know that it helped me then and has helped me many times since.

Hang in there buddy.

 

[ckossuth]

I've been where you are at. I had a very young daughter involved in the situation as well. It's not easy, but YOU WILL come out on the other side intact, and with your head up.

 

[drew13]

Some great advice here, man. Trust in God to help you through. You are taking the right steps so stay the course. I'll be praying for you.

 

[DaveT1963]

Bro, I've been there please listen to this. IT WILL GET BETTER. I know when I was in the midst of my divorce that I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel and it seemed pretty hopeless… but I'm here to tell you life will get better and you will rise above this but you have to give yourself that chance.

I work with freedom ministry and if you would ever like to talk please PM me and I'll give you my cell phone number.

The hopelessness that one feels while going through such things comes from the enemy please do not listen to that voice of hopelessness. I will be praying for you.

 

[TonyGreenway]

There are a lot of wise words here, but I'll add my own clumsy attempt.
There are all kinds of family, and this is one. You are not alone, and you are loved.
I know from experience that, sometimes, the most difficult discussions are made a tiny bit easier by the ear of a stranger than by that of a friend. Often we can say things to someone we don't know, and may never see face-to-face, that we can't say to a loved one. If you ever need an ear, day or night: (404) 416-2284

 

[TFNC]

As someone who has battled with depression and anxiety in the past, i just want to tell you that no matter what you can overcome this. You just have to keep your head up. Try to stay positive, and know you are not alone. If you believe in a higher power, take comfort in that. If you dont then you need to find that power in yourself.
It helped me out a lot when I realized that they are lots of people out there who have it worse than me, yet they fight and have a positive life everyday.
Take the time to heal and be strong.

 

[drew]

Nothing will make you feel better but time. Just keep getting up and keep moving no matter how bad keep moving.

 

[TNSTAAFL]

@Blinginpse,

Thank you for reaching out to the SH community in this troubling time you are experiencing. That was very brave of you to do. I'm guessing it wasn't easy to do.

I know we're don't know each other directly, but I recognized your screen name immediately from my countless hours on this forum that I love so much. It may be odd to say this but it feels like I know you and thus your story feels personal somehow. I'd like the chance to get to know you better.

I've been in these types of dark corners before myself. They are not easy. I've had conflicts with my dad and other life challenges that have made me feel like the only option left was to "get off the bus".

I don't have any perfect answers. I'm not a particularly religious person. All I can say is I'm glad I made it through my darkest moments. Things can always get better. Life is full of possibilities. Sometimes just recognizing the joy that is breathing is all it takes for me.

Being in nature also helps me. To that end hunting and other outdoor activities help give me purpose and meaning. Finding this community of similar minded folks is a part of that special therapy.

I wish you all the best and hope you know that you matter to people. Your presence here matters to me.

Charlie

Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk

 

[Nutterbuster]

I have unfortunately known several people who ended up committing suicide. They were not weak, and they were not selfish. They felt that they did not belong, that they were not needed, and that things would not get better.

I will say this. One, your absence WILL leave a hole in somebody's life that cannot be filled. Two, that decision will absolutely and irrevocably end your story at it's lowest point. It's the one thing you can't recover from.

Talk to people. Do for yourself, and do for others too. That second one can be hard, but doing for others and being needed can provide a powerful sense of self worth and affirmation.

 

[MCDM]

My heart and prayers go out for you. This year i have been through 3 miscarriages and lost my father. The pain definitely sucks but it will get better each day. Talking to you preacher or anyone for that matter will help at least get it off your chest. It is important to let it out and im sure i speak for many on here but we are a family and are here for you!! Head up and one foot in front of the other, if you stumble just stumble forward.. we got you brother!!