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All Woman Opinion

CooterBrown

CooterBrown

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Sep 1, 2020
Messages
1,970
So I'm a happily married man of 22 years but I have several questions I would like the input from our female friends on this forum. My wife has never hunted and doesn't show much interest in it( except too complain when I hunt a lot). #1. What could I do to get her interested in hunting? #2. What can I do to relieve the stress on her from my hunting hobby? #3. What can I do for her to get her off my back about hunting too much? #4. Just any good advice when dealing with a non hunting wife?

P.S. I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything. I'm just trying to figure out how to make this hunting season go smoother for both of us.
 
I’m kind of in the same boat, my wife doesn’t show a ton of interest in hunting. BUT, the times when I have been successful in involving her was when I let her make to decisions. She really likes the E-scouting and has picked out spots to hunt. Instead of telling her where to go, and then being at fault when you don’t see jack, let her pick where to go/what to do there and if she’s successful it’s a huge confidence boost. If it’s not successful, maybe she’ll want to learn and try again
 
So I asked my wife. Heres what I got.

1. Do you really want a chatty, froofy-smelling, impatient woman in the treestand with you? No? Hmmm. Do you wanna go to the spa? No? Hmmm.

2. Invest time and money on her and her hobbies. Show some thoughtfulness.

3. If you're about to do a lot of hunting (rutcation) butter her up before and after. Let her know you love her and will miss her.

Basically, the theme seems to be she's fine with what I do, provided that there's not a perceived imbalance in the amount of heavy lifting we're doing at home and in the relationship.
 
Ok not a woman’s perspective but I’ve been happily married for 21 years & have had similar experiences. I can tell you what works for us & what throws things out of whack.... I’ll try to address each
1. I’ve taken my wife Turkey hunting once & she’s never gone back , too many ticks & she can’t talk.... I’ve tried numerous times since & there’s no interest. So what I did instead was worked along side her in the kitchen to make whatever new or established wild game meals something we enjoy. She gets great pleasure out of a field to fork meal that’s a big family hit & takes pride in it. But I have to make sure that the meat prep/ processing is smooth & nothing required from her.
2. stress relief- usually when I get tunnel vision & don’t communicate my plans well, things go sideways. Before the season I roughly discuss how I’d like all this to play out (a few days early to late September, a trip mid to late October & a few days late pre rut, bow hunt hard for 3-5 days early November, gun hunt mid November a few days, sporadic late season based on weather) finding balance during this is important. Cancel a morning hunt & go out to breakfast with just her or the family. Pull extra weight on household chores, so she’s not doing extra thinking that you should be. From September to January there’s not a bag of trash, sink full of dishes, load of laundry or small home repair that’s left on her plate...... communication is key!! I plan my whole year so when it’s time to hunt I’ve made enough deposits in the family account so to speak that it’s not a big deal, come season.
3. Off your back- well some was addressed above, but the best thing that ever happened was encouraging my wife to find a hobby too. She now loves to sew & mess with crafting stuff. We discuss her sewing/crafting purchases & build that stuff into the budget. When she gets a box from wherever now she jokes that it’s just rope from Eastern Woods Outdoors........ support her hobby & hopefully it’s reciprocated! The rest is about balance.
4. No specific advice except for be a great husband, dad all year long & cash in hard during hunting season. Makes sure you have some non hunting things on the calendar during season to connect so she’s not a hunting widow.

Good luck man!!
 
Just tell her you're going to Home Depot, Lowes, Menards, etc. and you need her input on bathroom tile or (insert house project here).
Once she's outside in the hunting rig you've won half the battle. Next head to Starbucks or the local coffee shop for a pumpkin spice latte (PSL).
She'll be so enamored in PSL and house project ideas she won't even know what hit her at the next stop where you're both out in the woods hunting.
Just make the excuse you wanted to hunt a bit to clear your head and make the right decision on the bathroom tile.

But honestly my wife doesn't necessarily like hunting which is fine but she does enjoy other outdoor activities. If we're away from home for a hunting trip for me, I'll take the time to go hiking with her or sit around the campfire making s'mores. If she can handle me hunting, I can take time for her doing the things she enjoys.
 
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Nutterbuster said:
So I asked my wife. Heres what I got.

1. Do you really want a chatty, froofy-smelling, impatient woman in the treestand with you? No? Hmmm. Do you wanna go to the spa? No? Hmmm.

2. Invest time and money on her and her hobbies. Show some thoughtfulness.

3. If you're about to do a lot of hunting (rutcation) butter her up before and after. Let her know you love her and will miss her.

Basically, the theme seems to be she's fine with what I do, provided that there's not a perceived imbalance in the amount of heavy lifting we're doing at home and in the relationship.
Click to expand...
Was thinking more alone the lines of getting her in a shooting house(ground blind) for some quality time together chatting(whispering) about whatever is on her mind. Hoping the shooting house will not let her scent get out too much and the noise from the talking and allow her to move around without getting busted and relieve some of the tension during hunting season. Plus a SH wouldn't be as cold as hanging from a tree.
 
Been married 12 years here and I’ve hunted more this year than I ever have, she is actually showing some interest in going this year as well.
I just make sure I’m doing my part with the kids and around the house and pay attention to her when I’m home. She also has taken interest in world events more than ever this year and the fact I’m filling the freezer helps with the being gone so much.
I will also say my wife is awesome and I’m truly a blessed man to have a wife that lets me do my thing. I will say out of my group of friends and family our situation is not the norm as most guys catch a ton of grief and don’t get to hunt like I do.
 
Jtaylor said:
Just tell her you're going to Home Depot, Lowes, Menards, etc. and you need her input on bathroom tile or (insert house project here).
Once she's outside in the hunting rig you've won half the battle. Next head to Starbucks or the local coffee shop for a pumpkin spice latte (PSL).
She'll be so enamored in PSL and house project ideas she won't even know what hit her at the next stop where you're both out in the woods hunting.
Just make the excuse you wanted to hunt a bit to clear your head and make the right decision on the bathroom tile.

But honestly my wife doesn't necessarily like hunting which is fine but she does enjoy other outdoor activities. If we're away from home for a hunting trip for me, I'll take the time to go hiking with her or sit around the campfire making s'mores. If she can handle me hunting, I can take time for her doing the things she enjoys.
Click to expand...
Except I live in rural Alabama Lowes Starbucks ect. are 45min away. But great idea. Maybe my local ACE Hardware will do.
 
CooterBrown said:
Was thinking more alone the lines of getting her in a shooting house(ground blind) for some quality time together chatting(whispering) about whatever is on her mind. Hoping the shooting house will not let her scent get out too much and the noise from the talking and allow her to move around without getting busted and relieve some of the tension during hunting season. Plus a SH wouldn't be as cold as hanging from a tree.
Click to expand...
My wife is not remotely interested in your proposition. She says she'd rather talk about her day in a nice, warm restaurant while sipping margaritas and waiting for the fajitas to show up. Her words, not mine.

I'd say it comes down to this. If she doesn't like to hunt (and it sounds like she doesn't) any forays she makes into the woods are 100% because she loves you and is being selfless. And probably mean you owe her a day doing something that has 0 appeal to you. Or you can both find something you enjoy. Me and mine like camping, boat rides, and video games on a rainy day. Or you can both accept you like different things that require absense from the other to enjoy. I hunt, she goes to frigging Disneyworld. I feel the same way about Mickey Mouse as she does about deer blood.
 
Good luck, Im in the same boat. She gets so jealous of hunting and complains enough that I start to hate hunting. She used to say you go every weekend. I was like you know thats 10 days out of 365? Ive told her she needs a hobby, to no avail. My buddy has a wife who hunts. I said you are so lucky. He said no, everything cost him twice as much. lol
 
Nutterbuster said:
My wife is not remotely interested in your proposition. She says she'd rather talk about her day in a nice, warm restaurant while sipping margaritas and waiting for the fajitas to show up. Her words, not mine.

I'd say it comes down to this. If she doesn't like to hunt (and it sounds like she doesn't) any forays she makes into the woods are 100% because she loves you and is being selfless. And probably mean you owe her a day doing something that has 0 appeal to you. Or you can both find something you enjoy. Me and mine like camping, boat rides, and video games on a rainy day. Or you can both accept you like different things that require absense from the other to enjoy. I hunt, she goes to frigging Disneyworld. I feel the same way about Mickey Mouse as she does about deer blood.
Click to expand...
LOL I thought anybody that wore a man bun liked mickey mouse too. But what do I know. Guess that's the reason I'm having to ask questions.
 
CooterBrown said:
LOL I thought anybody that wore a man bun liked mickey mouse too. But what do I know. Guess that's the reason I'm having to ask questions.
Click to expand...
Don't know what to tell ya man. My dad and my mom have tangled over deer season for the past 27 years. We've only been married 5, but we knew we were gonna do it 5 years before that. Just waiting around to get out of college. She's pretty tolerant of my hunting, and I like to think I show appreciation because my mom is/was a nightmare sometimes about it with me and my dad. I've never tried to get her in the woods because I don't think she'd enjoy it at all. She likes fishing and camping enough that she asks to go though.

I got nothin'
 
Jtaylor said:
Lol! I'm not so sure they're too willing to post to "CooterBrown" being a little over anxious to see if there's any women on the forum...I might be way off though.
Click to expand...
LOL Get your mind out of the gutter. For me it goes back to a nick name I got from my job. It started out as Scooter because I was very active moving around a lot then evolved to Cooter because someone's mind was in the gutter and called me that around a woman at work trying to embarrass me and then someone started calling me Cooter Brown like drunk as Cooter Brown( google it) even tho I don't drink. And its been that for years now.
 
You're going to get a lot of ideas - some (hopefully most) of them good, some not-so-good. Many 100% opposite of each other.

At the end of the day this is about you and her, what each of you enjoy, and what each of you tolerate. That's different for every person and every relationship.

If you're looking to involve her - keep in mind that her (or any hunting partner really) idea of what's enjoyable (and even if you enjoy the same thing - you may both enjoy MUCH different parts of it) is probably different from hers.

When we were much younger, my wife wanted to see what our family's traditional hunting was like and check it out. This was in a low-population area after a couple of brutal winters and it was immediately clear that she was just bored and cold.
A couple years back, she got so pissed off at the deer eating her flowers that she ended up getting into archery with the goal to hunt near our house - and took her first deer after sitting something like 14 hours (with a lunch break) in daylong subzero weather (that she CHOSE to sit in). The biggest difference was in actually seeing deer. She also REALLY gets into seeing deer on trail cameras and stuff like that.

And we also have a combo of lots of things we enjoy together as well as things that we enjoy separately. At the end of the day all parties need to feel like they're getting a good bargain.
 
Nutterbuster said:
My wife is not remotely interested in your proposition. She says she'd rather talk about her day in a nice, warm restaurant while sipping margaritas and waiting for the fajitas to show up. Her words, not mine.

I'd say it comes down to this. If she doesn't like to hunt (and it sounds like she doesn't) any forays she makes into the woods are 100% because she loves you and is being selfless. And probably mean you owe her a day doing something that has 0 appeal to you. Or you can both find something you enjoy. Me and mine like camping, boat rides, and video games on a rainy day. Or you can both accept you like different things that require absense from the other to enjoy. I hunt, she goes to frigging Disneyworld. I feel the same way about Mickey Mouse as she does about deer blood.
Click to expand...
That’s hysterical, my wife loves Disney world & that’s been my rebuttal for hunting trips purchases for years. “It’s cheaper than the mouse!” COVID has made me get creative though......
 
Bigterp said:
Ok not a woman’s perspective but I’ve been happily married for 21 years & have had similar experiences. I can tell you what works for us & what throws things out of whack.... I’ll try to address each
1. I’ve taken my wife Turkey hunting once & she’s never gone back , too many ticks & she can’t talk.... I’ve tried numerous times since & there’s no interest. So what I did instead was worked along side her in the kitchen to make whatever new or established wild game meals something we enjoy. She gets great pleasure out of a field to fork meal that’s a big family hit & takes pride in it. But I have to make sure that the meat prep/ processing is smooth & nothing required from her.
2. stress relief- usually when I get tunnel vision & don’t communicate my plans well, things go sideways. Before the season I roughly discuss how I’d like all this to play out (a few days early to late September, a trip mid to late October & a few days late pre rut, bow hunt hard for 3-5 days early November, gun hunt mid November a few days, sporadic late season based on weather) finding balance during this is important. Cancel a morning hunt & go out to breakfast with just her or the family. Pull extra weight on household chores, so she’s not doing extra thinking that you should be. From September to January there’s not a bag of trash, sink full of dishes, load of laundry or small home repair that’s left on her plate...... communication is key!! I plan my whole year so when it’s time to hunt I’ve made enough deposits in the family account so to speak that it’s not a big deal, come season.
3. Off your back- well some was addressed above, but the best thing that ever happened was encouraging my wife to find a hobby too. She now loves to sew & mess with crafting stuff. We discuss her sewing/crafting purchases & build that stuff into the budget. When she gets a box from wherever now she jokes that it’s just rope from Eastern Woods Outdoors........ support her hobby & hopefully it’s reciprocated! The rest is about balance.
4. No specific advice except for be a great husband, dad all year long & cash in hard during hunting season. Makes sure you have some non hunting things on the calendar during season to connect so she’s not a hunting widow.

Good luck man!!
Click to expand...

Every married man who hunts should have this printed and tape to the fridge...no better words could be said on the subject matter

This man has one of the trickiest things about hunting mastered
 
rhagenw said:
Every married man who hunts should have this printed and tape to the fridge...no better words could be said on the subject matter

This man has one of the trickiest things about hunting mastered
Click to expand...
Btw took me 15-20 years to get to where were at, I was a selfish clown my first 5-10 years. Glad she hung in there.
 
Yeah I’ve been implementing some of your advice the last couple years which has greatly improved things but you sir...you got figured out...
 
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