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Have you ever took a year off from hunting.

kbetts

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Oct 13, 2015
Messages
800
Location
Delaware
My love for the outdoors probably contributed to my divorce. Not because I couldn’t or wouldn’t balance it with home life….but because she saw it as a frivolous hobby.

I slowly pulled myself away from the woods and water, and lost myself in the process. There was a sense of pride developed by putting down deer with traditional equipment as well as taking a deer or two or three that no one had seen before. I tried to squeeze in time, but I always felt uncomfortable….I couldn’t settle in and relax. My seasons suffered. My confidence suffered. To be good, you have to put in “quality” time. Period.

Two years out of a marriage and it’s just now coming to me. It’s not like riding a bike. I’ve had to reteach myself a number of things. I was so scared I wouldn’t enjoy it anymore. I’m probably having more fun than ever. The pressure I feel is self inflicted now…..I was once very good at this game and I’m dying to get it back.

Take care of the wife and family, however, no one is going to live your life for you. “Self” comes first. Happiness within allows us to concentrate on making sound decisions in regards to others.
 

ssramage

Active Member
SH Member
Joined
Apr 26, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Saint Simons Island, GA
I have, but it was when my oldest son was just born and we relocated to a new area for work. For about 2-3 years I hunted very little during deer or turkey season. And then my son started getting interested in it around the age of 4. My middle son has been going since he was 2, and sat 20+ times last season as a 3 year old. I can barely keep him at home now. If Daddy is going, he wants to be there and he hunts hard. I've learned to adjust my expectations and just load them up.
 

Camelcluch

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2020
Messages
402
My wife only knows me hunting all the time. There is no taking a year off or even a season. I say that but there is always a chance I come home to all my stuff out on the driveway.
 

barlow96

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2018
Messages
635
Location
Mississippi
I have been a hunter with her since day one. She was in college for 5 years and I think she really didn’t understand how much time I spent on it. Her dad and brother both hunt. She was a deer camp kid when she was little. But never cared to take up the sport. My son made a wish for his birthday at 4 to be a good hunter. Her comment was a waste of a wish. I thought in my head she is going to kill his dream too. I am willing to do it less than before. But I am not ready to give it up for life.
 

gcr0003

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Nov 1, 2018
Messages
4,126
Location
Not Alabama
I have been a hunter with her since day one. She was in college for 5 years and I think she really didn’t understand how much time I spent on it. Her dad and brother both hunt. She was a deer camp kid when she was little. But never cared to take up the sport. My son made a wish for his birthday at 4 to be a good hunter. Her comment was a waste of a wish. I thought in my head she is going to kill his dream too. I am willing to do it less than before. But I am not ready to give it up for life.
I am a young buck (married 2.5 years) with no kids so take this for what it is worth. I didn't hunt at all when my wife and I first met. I got into hunting when I got my first job out of college and when we were still new. My passion for hunting grew the longer we were together. When we got married she new that I liked hunting and that I spent a fair amount of time hunting. Though she new it was my passion she often became upset (passive aggressively) that I was spending time hunting instead of time with her. I am a very disagreeable person and she is very agreeable person which means that I will always say what I feel or want and she will often hide her feelings and avoid confrontation. We had agreements in place to help spread my time. I would tell her that I work 5 days a week, Saturday was my day and Sunday was Church day then whatever else she wanted to do day. At the time the land I hunted was closed on Sunday anyway so I thought this was a good compromise. She agreed that it was a good compromise (in retrospect this was probably agreeing to avoid confrontation) but she would still be upset and make passive aggressive remarks about me hunting too much and not spending enough time for her. I had already cut back my hunting a lot from the season before we got married. I specifically took off hunting early seasion to do some weekend trips with her, so when she continued I started having feelings of resentment towards her for making me feel guilty for enjoying my hobby. Instead of letting this stew I was adamant about patching this gap so that she would feel taking care of in the form of me spending time with her, as well as ensuring that I still had time to vent and enjoy the outdoors. I explained to her what hunting meant to me and that if she continued to make me feel guilty for going that I would no longer enjoy it. If couldn't enjoy it out of guilt I would resent her. Basically, If something didn't change she would resent me for hunting and I would resent her for making me feel guilty about hunting and that would likely lead to serious marital problems. This past season was a lot better. I made time for her and she acknowledged a lot better. When I went hunting I made sure she was cool with it (out of respect). She didn't give me any problems the whole season and I was able to hunt about as much I wanted. She even changed to helping me get up and at them in the morning. She would say, "you gotta get up and go hunting, if you don't go you'll regret it." I want to make her happy and she wants to make me happy so it all works out. This year I want to do more planned hunts so we've been talking it over. I will likely add them to our shared calender and make arrangements from there. We are taking two ski trips as well so I think it works out. Personality types play a big part in this. Since she is so agreeable and doesn't like confrontation I have to lightly pry out her feelings about things. When I get her to communicate we can work together a lot better.

I will add that we have no debt and are doing well financially so I won't let her use the "its a waste of money" line. If we were hurting for money or if I was spending a significant amount on hunting then that would be real issue that would need addressed. Neglecting responsibilities for hunting would make any significant other unhappy. I try to take care of my responsibilities such that I can have fun guilt free. If your wife, finances, or kids are neglected in some way then I think your wife would have a legitimate concern with you hunting too much. There are times, like the one I experienced where for no good reason at all the women will hate hunting or have an issue with it. That's one you got to babysit a lot more like I have had to do. Communication is key and it took a lot of crap for her to understand that she was being unreasonable. I had to do this in a way that was uncommon and even hard for me, sweet and tender and out of love. At the end of the day as long as were are both willing to work at it then it will improve. The bright side is that my wife wants to spend time with me. That isn't a bad thing at all. We camp, hike, ski and so forth together. I even got her to go on two laid back hunts with me last year. Technically she asked if she could come with! I may even try to get her in a saddle this year, she even asked If I would make her one! She doesn't like hunting, and I don't think I could pay her to shoot an animal but she likes spending time with me so if she'll go, I'll take her. YMMV

TL: DR version
...and just remember, dirty lime disease tick covered pine goats aren't worth dying, crying, or lying over. Good luck man and hang in there!
 

woodsdog2

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2019
Messages
2,706
I have been a hunter with her since day one. She was in college for 5 years and I think she really didn’t understand how much time I spent on it. Her dad and brother both hunt. She was a deer camp kid when she was little. But never cared to take up the sport. My son made a wish for his birthday at 4 to be a good hunter. Her comment was a waste of a wish. I thought in my head she is going to kill his dream too. I am willing to do it less than before. But I am not ready to give it up for life.
Yeah, I don't know man its none of my business but I sense more going on there than your hunting. I am blessed now in my second marriage going on 14 years that I have never taken a break from hunting and my wife has never begrudged me regarding it. And honestly, my first wife never had a problem with my hunting either and our divorce was due to other circumstances. Suffice it to say, I'm much better off now in my second marriage and I'll be first to admit my first marriage was a big mistake of judgement on my part.

Anyway, much like some others like @boyne bowhunter stated in their responses, I really only do hunting and trapping so I'm not doing golf all summer, fishing etc. and other things all year so when it comes time for hunting season, especially archery, my wife understands when I want to get out there. She loves to fish so when I do fish, it is usually with her and the kids.

I'm also not one to be out on the town with the boys either. My wife is an RN and works every other weekend so I'm home with the kids on those days. I have a regular M-F work schedule so she understands when she isn't working during hunting season, I'm hunting. But even then, during holidays and things where there are functions for the kids or Church, I'm making the conscience choice to do those things. Those choices trump hunting for sure. But again, I am blessed in that my wife seems to understand that and will say, you should go hunting tomorrow etc. So In the end, it typically works out pretty good.

I did say right off the bat to her when we were dating that hunting is super important to me. But I also said so is she and family. Are there days I wish I was pounding the ground instead of home? For sure! I have learned that being honest with your feelings about it is very important. You want to make sure she understands how important it is to you.

Finally, I also wanted to impart on you that you can get really caught up in all the scouting and time spent hunting and what it seems like you must do to be an effective hunter and don't get me wrong, time spent in the woods is super important to hunting success. But realize, sometimes we make some of this harder than it really needs to be. You can have properties where you can hunt every day of the week depending on wind direction changes etc. and that is fine to always be prepared for every scenario so you can be in the woods constantly. But to ensure proper family life balance, maybe scout three properties instead of 10 and only hunt those three with the right wind predictions. Also be sure you have things to hunt that you want to shoot so you're maximizing your effectiveness when you are out in the field. Finally, how many times have you been out and everything was right but you still didn't see anything but then a cold front came in and boom animals all over the place. I guess my advice is pick your locations and times wisely so you aren't just wasting your time or your family's time.

My heart goes out for you brother I'm praying for you and your marriage. Too much of making marriage not important anymore in society and all about individual happiness instead of the trials and tribulations we must all go through in life. In my home, order of priority is as follows as much as I can do it. Sometimes it waivers back and forth and I can be selfish I'll be the first to admit it but I really try and not be.

Order: God, marriage, kids, family, friends, home, work, hunting, other stuff. Sometimes home and work and hunting get moved around a little bit but for the most part. That's where I try to be at. Hope this helps you!!
 

dalton916

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2018
Messages
2,831
I took a year off from hunting, but it was for a war and not a woman.

Has she got a hobby or passion that you can deny her of?

That doesn’t sound like a healthy situation at all to me. Need to get that squared away with the swiftness.
 

barlow96

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2018
Messages
635
Location
Mississippi
Yeah, I don't know man its none of my business but I sense more going on there than your hunting. I am blessed now in my second marriage going on 14 years that I have never taken a break from hunting and my wife has never begrudged me regarding it. And honestly, my first wife never had a problem with my hunting either and our divorce was due to other circumstances. Suffice it to say, I'm much better off now in my second marriage and I'll be first to admit my first marriage was a big mistake of judgement on my part.

Anyway, much like some others like @boyne bowhunter stated in their responses, I really only do hunting and trapping so I'm not doing golf all summer, fishing etc. and other things all year so when it comes time for hunting season, especially archery, my wife understands when I want to get out there. She loves to fish so when I do fish, it is usually with her and the kids.

I'm also not one to be out on the town with the boys either. My wife is an RN and works every other weekend so I'm home with the kids on those days. I have a regular M-F work schedule so she understands when she isn't working during hunting season, I'm hunting. But even then, during holidays and things where there are functions for the kids or Church, I'm making the conscience choice to do those things. Those choices trump hunting for sure. But again, I am blessed in that my wife seems to understand that and will say, you should go hunting tomorrow etc. So In the end, it typically works out pretty good.

I did say right off the bat to her when we were dating that hunting is super important to me. But I also said so is she and family. Are there days I wish I was pounding the ground instead of home? For sure! I have learned that being honest with your feelings about it is very important. You want to make sure she understands how important it is to you.

Finally, I also wanted to impart on you that you can get really caught up in all the scouting and time spent hunting and what it seems like you must do to be an effective hunter and don't get me wrong, time spent in the woods is super important to hunting success. But realize, sometimes we make some of this harder than it really needs to be. You can have properties where you can hunt every day of the week depending on wind direction changes etc. and that is fine to always be prepared for every scenario so you can be in the woods constantly. But to ensure proper family life balance, maybe scout three properties instead of 10 and only hunt those three with the right wind predictions. Also be sure you have things to hunt that you want to shoot so you're maximizing your effectiveness when you are out in the field. Finally, how many times have you been out and everything was right but you still didn't see anything but then a cold front came in and boom animals all over the place. I guess my advice is pick your locations and times wisely so you aren't just wasting your time or your family's time.

My heart goes out for you brother I'm praying for you and your marriage. Too much of making marriage not important anymore in society and all about individual happiness instead of the trials and tribulations we must all go through in life. In my home, order of priority is as follows as much as I can do it. Sometimes it waivers back and forth and I can be selfish I'll be the first to admit it but I really try and not be.

Order: God, marriage, kids, family, friends, home, work, hunting, other stuff. Sometimes home and work and hunting get moved around a little bit but for the most part. That's where I try to be at. Hope this helps you!!
We went to beach first part of may and went camping fathers day weekend. I don’t do any thing in the summer alone it’s always with my son and my wife. I work a crazy schedule. Fire department and 24 on 48 off and own a business. I am a brick mason. My wife is a cpa. But works for government now. Been a fireman 15 years. And know she acts like the schedule is a problem.

As far as hunting goes. She will tell me I can go and then close to dark prime time she is wondering where I am. Like I am supposed to be home already.

As far as scouting and hanging stands. I don’t do it. It’s all done during hunting days. I really don’t have the time during off season.

Most of my hunting days is around draw hunts. There is some the same time every year. And some are random. Which brings me to the last peace is my dad. He is 58 and still gets after it. I hunt with him some but maybe once a year. I don’t know how many seasons I will get with him. I hope he still doing it when my son gets more into it.

I am 38 and me and my wife have been together a total of 18 years.

As far as money goes where good. But she still gets mad with some of my spending. But when I ask about it before hand she says she is fine with it. And then I buy and she comes back mad.
 

SaddleConvert18

New Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2018
Messages
6
I have never taken a year off to reset. But I did go back to school for four years and could only hunt a few days each year. Last season (2020) was my first year back and I will have to say I enjoyed it more than I have in years. So, I would say however you need to reset do it, but realize that resetting your passion or appreciation for hunting can come in many forms.
 

Maverick1

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 2, 2019
Messages
417
Have any of you guys taking a year off from hunting
What?
Take a year off from hunting?
Moderators, ban this user!

LOL. Relax. I am kidding.

You are at a tough period in your life. There is no right answer. (And sometimes it may feel that whatever you try is the wrong answer!). Some good advice posted above. Sometimes the key is finding balance between “your” time and the family time. Try to make sure that balance doesn’t get too far out of line one way or the other or you will be unhappy in the short and maybe long term. Good luck!
 

DroptineKrazy

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2019
Messages
1,515
Location
Brunswick, Maine
Yeah, I don't know man its none of my business but I sense more going on there than your hunting. I am blessed now in my second marriage going on 14 years that I have never taken a break from hunting and my wife has never begrudged me regarding it. And honestly, my first wife never had a problem with my hunting either and our divorce was due to other circumstances. Suffice it to say, I'm much better off now in my second marriage and I'll be first to admit my first marriage was a big mistake of judgement on my part.

Anyway, much like some others like @boyne bowhunter stated in their responses, I really only do hunting and trapping so I'm not doing golf all summer, fishing etc. and other things all year so when it comes time for hunting season, especially archery, my wife understands when I want to get out there. She loves to fish so when I do fish, it is usually with her and the kids.

I'm also not one to be out on the town with the boys either. My wife is an RN and works every other weekend so I'm home with the kids on those days. I have a regular M-F work schedule so she understands when she isn't working during hunting season, I'm hunting. But even then, during holidays and things where there are functions for the kids or Church, I'm making the conscience choice to do those things. Those choices trump hunting for sure. But again, I am blessed in that my wife seems to understand that and will say, you should go hunting tomorrow etc. So In the end, it typically works out pretty good.

I did say right off the bat to her when we were dating that hunting is super important to me. But I also said so is she and family. Are there days I wish I was pounding the ground instead of home? For sure! I have learned that being honest with your feelings about it is very important. You want to make sure she understands how important it is to you.

Finally, I also wanted to impart on you that you can get really caught up in all the scouting and time spent hunting and what it seems like you must do to be an effective hunter and don't get me wrong, time spent in the woods is super important to hunting success. But realize, sometimes we make some of this harder than it really needs to be. You can have properties where you can hunt every day of the week depending on wind direction changes etc. and that is fine to always be prepared for every scenario so you can be in the woods constantly. But to ensure proper family life balance, maybe scout three properties instead of 10 and only hunt those three with the right wind predictions. Also be sure you have things to hunt that you want to shoot so you're maximizing your effectiveness when you are out in the field. Finally, how many times have you been out and everything was right but you still didn't see anything but then a cold front came in and boom animals all over the place. I guess my advice is pick your locations and times wisely so you aren't just wasting your time or your family's time.

My heart goes out for you brother I'm praying for you and your marriage. Too much of making marriage not important anymore in society and all about individual happiness instead of the trials and tribulations we must all go through in life. In my home, order of priority is as follows as much as I can do it. Sometimes it waivers back and forth and I can be selfish I'll be the first to admit it but I really try and not be.

Order: God, marriage, kids, family, friends, home, work, hunting, other stuff. Sometimes home and work and hunting get moved around a little bit but for the most part. That's where I try to be at. Hope this helps you!!
You got that order messed up. It goes like this: God, hunting, hunting, hunting, hunting and hunting. There, fixed it for ya. :tearsofjoy:
 

Plebe

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2020
Messages
1,550
I've somewhat recently discovered turkey hunting, and most days I'm home before my wife finishes her coffee.

If you have a place nearby to hunt them, it is less relationship exhaustive. I've really enjoyed it, even though I'm a deer hunter at heart.
 

HuumanCreed

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2020
Messages
913
Location
Westminster Maryland
I'm going to play devil's advocate. Keep in mind I know nothing about you or your situation. And everything I say is not meant to be judgmental, and take everything with a grain of salt. It seem like one of the main issue that you bring up or your wife bring up is money. I'm guilty of overspending when I first got into hunting and it caused some problems. They said money is the reason for most divorces, but its usually because money is the most identifiable and verifiable cause. So maybe sit with her and talk about is the money really bothering her or something else? If it is, maybe agree to a budget if you didn't already have one. If nothing else, she can't use it against you if you both agreed to something CLEARLY.


Also remember life is always changing, sometime you are in a tough period but it will get better. I literally gave up all other hobbies once I became a dad, somethings that I gave up not by choice to be honest, and trying to squeeze in time to hold on to them also cause a lot of fights. Things will get better or change, or at least its what my wife keep telling me. We had kids almost back to back, and we are still in the harder years. At first I wanted to spread the kids out because it was going to be hard with so many little kids. But wife made a really good point. Yes, its going to be hard the first few years, but realizes this. If we spread them out, we are signing up to change diapers for 2 decades!!!!!
 

HunterBob

Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2019
Messages
94
I would encourage you to keep talking about this with your wife and find something you can both agree on. Every year I have multiple conversations with my wife, some of which include us having to work through some hard conflict. My kids are 6 and 9 now and I am able to hunt more than I was able to in their earlier years.

Two things that have helped my wife and I:

1. Planning ahead to pay attention to her needs. This has included finding childcare options for when I am hunting and she needs a break, as well as us planning ahead for her to have freedom to do some things that she enjoys while I take care of the kids.

2. My wife being able to see a difference in me when I am able to go out and come home a little more relaxed and engaged. If I am not working to enjoy my time out there and simply get frustrated that the hunting day didn't turn out like I wanted it to, which is what she sees when I get home, there is nothing for her to like about hunting. I have to remind myself that each day out is a privilege and I must take in the blessing of this.
 

woodsdog2

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Jun 28, 2019
Messages
2,706
I took a year off from hunting, but it was for a war and not a woman.

Has she got a hobby or passion that you can deny her of?

That doesn’t sound like a healthy situation at all to me. Need to get that squared away with the swiftness.
Thank you for your service man. I bow to all of you who have fought. Thank you!!
 

lawrence

Well-Known Member
Joined
Mar 21, 2018
Messages
390
Tore my knee up before hunting season one year. (Should have mad maxed my leg). Then didn’t get into the draw for my favorite place the following year. Didn’t realize how much I missed hunting till I got back. This also led me down the path of saddle hunting as I need to drop the weight of what I carried.
 

Jmiller

Active Member
SH Member
Joined
Nov 8, 2019
Messages
165
I took a year off from hunting, but it was for a war and not a woman.

Has she got a hobby or passion that you can deny her of?

That doesn’t sound like a healthy situation at all to me. Need to get that squared away with the swiftness.
This part is key. Not denying her, but just so that every waking moment doesn't revolve around you. The one I dated before I met my wife... she had no hobbies. And looking back, although she had her girlfriends, they never really did anything. Maybe "go shopping". Every time I went and did anything there was the guilt trip.

My wife of 14 years, she's a competitive runner. We have a strong social circle of like minded friends with kids of similar age. She goes on running trips. Yoga. Her and her friends hang out, drink Prosecco all day while the kids run around. It's fine. I've hunted more than ever the last several years and my boys are 7 and 10. I take them hunting too, just to give her free time.

Point is, build a situation where your wife isn't sitting around waiting for you to get back and instead has something of her own to do. That's my advice.
 

BuffaloBill

Well-Known Member
SH Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2019
Messages
743
Location
Indiana
This part is key. Not denying her, but just so that every waking moment doesn't revolve around you. The one I dated before I met my wife... she had no hobbies. And looking back, although she had her girlfriends, they never really did anything. Maybe "go shopping". Every time I went and did anything there was the guilt trip.

My wife of 14 years, she's a competitive runner. We have a strong social circle of like minded friends with kids of similar age. She goes on running trips. Yoga. Her and her friends hang out, drink Prosecco all day while the kids run around. It's fine. I've hunted more than ever the last several years and my boys are 7 and 10. I take them hunting too, just to give her free time.

Point is, build a situation where your wife isn't sitting around waiting for you to get back and instead has something of her own to do. That's my advice.
I have this issue as well. My wife doesn't really have any notable hobbies that she can do on her own aside from reading. She barely does that since having our son. Whenever we have a day off together she's always wanting to know what we're going to do. I'm thinking, do whatever TF you want. I usually suggest fishing or something outside and she typically shoots it down. I have enough interests that I can keep myself occupied. I am fortunate that on my days off during the week our son is at day care most of the afternoon. She doesn't get that luxury aside from the banker holidays that she gets off. I think our next day off together i'm going to secretly load my truck with rifles and ammo and take her to the shooting range. Maybe she'll like that and encourage me to buy more pew pews.
 
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