So the wife and I have a rule about spending. Theres a fairly generous amount that we dont have to answer to. And that may change depending on how things are going. But if we "want" above that... we discuss. Works for us. If its over that..it actually makes me think- "do I really need that?" before i lobby for it. Pretty rare that either of us give the big N.O. though.
Heres the best advice my dad ever gave me though. I asked him once, "Why mom, how did you know?" So he tells me how he ran coon and fox hounds pretty heavy back then. Every year, he'd meet a girl, then about October, he'd explain....Im a diary farmer- lotta hours you know that. Running dogs at night til January. Fox hunting takes up some spare time in January, early Feb. And every girl would be all ticked off, basically tell him to get lost. Then one summer he met the woman that would eventually be my mom. October rolls around, and he give her the speech. And she says, Well-" I guess I'll see ya in for Valentines day then." See me when you can though. Thats when he knew.
Moral of the story I guess..... Respect. Respect the budget, for sure. but respect each others passion.