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Jokes and Memes - NO POLITICS

BowhunterXC

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
72
Location
N.W. Ohio
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
 

BowhunterXC

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
72
Location
N.W. Ohio
Two old guys are sitting in a diner, having some coffee. ☕

The First old guy says, "I bought some new hearing aids and paid $7000 for them. They were expensive, but worth it."
The Second old guy says, "Really? What kind are they?"
The First old guy says, "It's about 12:30." :rolleyes:
 

BowhunterXC

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
72
Location
N.W. Ohio
A guy was in a PUB about as drunk as it’s possible to get.
A group of guys noticed his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. First they stood him up to get to his wallet so they could find out where he lives, but he kept falling down. He fell down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud. They finally decided to carry him to the door of his house. After they got to his house, they knocked on the door and waited.

His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, “Your husband was pretty drunk and we didn't think he should be driving, so we brought him home.”
The wife says, “That was real nice of you guys. Where’s his wheelchair? ”
 

GCTerpfan

Moderator
Staff member
SH Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2017
Messages
4,366
Location
Garrett County, MD
Year's ago I was sitting beside a coworker when his wife called him to confirm the item he needed at the Auto parts store. He told her the item and then asked her to pick up blinker fluid and muffler bearings also. I was still sitting beside him ten minutes later when she called him back and gave him the severest tongue lashing I have ever heard after everyone laughed at her at the store.
 
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