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Jokes and Memes - NO POLITICS

Both at the same time will get em pretty flustered lol
 
I had a "guard gator" in my backyard in college for a few days. Luckily didn't end up in a news article like these. I wised up and let him loose in one of the campus ponds at night and they had a fit. Wasn't "big enough" for wildlife officers to remove. Hehehe
 
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
 
HuumanCreed said:
Be safe out there gentlemen (and ladies). Listen to the doctor warning and the documents provided CAREFULLY, you can still impregnate a woman within a whole month after the operation due to residual sperms in your system.

Oh a totally unrelated announcement. Wife is pregnant with our 6th kid.
Click to expand...
I’ll 2nd that I’ve had 3 after my snip that was a decade ago.
 
That St. Peter joke reminded me of one. Boudreaux and Thibedeaux jokes anyone? Lol

Boudreaux ended up at the pearly gates one day and St. Peter said to him, “the only thing you have left to do is spell LOVE”. Boudreaux smiled “meh sha dats too eaasy, L-O-V-E” St. Peter agreed and then let him in. Couple days later Boudreaux is walking around heaven and St Peter calls him over and asks if he can watch the podium while he runs to the bathroom, he explains “only thing you have to do is when someone shows up ask them to spell love and if they’re correct let them in”. So Boudreaux is at the podium and all of a sudden Thibedeaux shows up. “Comment Ça Vä my friend!” Boudreaux exclaimed, “good to see you” he says. So then he stops him and tells him “brother just spell LOVE”. Thibedeaux smiled “meh sha you know I know dat, L-O-V-E!”, and he was then let in. About another 20 min pass and Boudreauxs wife Betty shows up. “Mon Chèri! How I’ve missed you so much, but I just have 1 last thing for you to do, I need you to spell something”. “aww meh là bebè you know I was spelling B champion at my school”. Boudreaux agreed and said “yeah I remember you were a good speller” so he thinks for a bit then asks “ I need you to spell Atchafalaya”. Lmao
 
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