When an easy job gets hard...

[IkemanTX]

Normally, my job is pretty easy.
I am a flight attendant at a major airline, so my job normally consists of serving drinks, handing out snacks, answering questions, and cleaning up after the general public...

Today was different.

Today, I found a blue, unconscious, unresponsive 3 month old infant with a distraught mother and grandfather screaming for someone to save their baby.

All through training, I assumed I would rarely, and hopefully never, use the life saving portion of our training course (40ish hours, including hands on proficiencies). I was wrong. I have only been flying 5 1/2 years and I have administered CPR 3 separate times. Twice to adults, and once today to an infant.

In what felt like an absolute eternity, but was actually only about 2-3 minutes, I was able to get this infants heart beating again, and then after another minute I was able to get her breathing.

I can’t even describe how torn up I am. It all happened so fast, and she recovered very well.. but I just can’t get over the visceral, guttural screams of her mom’s desperation over her dying baby. Or the limp, blue rag doll infant I pulled from her hands to start CPR on.

It has been over 3 hours and I honestly can’t stop crying. Thank GOD it was my last flight of the day, because I am absolutely useless.

I don’t even know why I’m turning to this forum to vent, but I just had to work it through. I can’t keep a conversation about it, because I just turn into a sobbing mess half way through sentences. So, you guys get the brunt of my venting.

Please, if you are reading this, just do me one favor. If you have kids, give them a BIG hug and remind them how much you love them. Because I very easily could have failed this mother, and she may have never held her daughter again. I can’t even wrap my head around not seeing my son again.

Also, if you know anyone who is a first responder, specifically EMS or emergency/ICU staff... let them know how much of an angel they are. I can’t imagine this being my ENTIRE work day, every day. I can’t imagine signing up for a job KNOWING I would lose patients on a regular basis, no matter how hard I tried.

Tell your families you love them for me...
-IkemanTx

 

[DaveT1963]

Way to go Ikeman. If I have learned one thing in life this is that God puts the right person, at the right place, at the right time… today was your turn, sounds like you did a fantastic job..... well done.

 

[Chrighton]

Wow nice work! I can only imagine how you're feeling.

 

[Recurveaholic]

We are in the process of our nephew fighting for his life and if you have kids it is the worst feeling in the world and you cannot describe it! Unless you have children you will never know the feeling of absolute helplessness you have for your child when they or someone else's child is hurt, sick, scared, etc.... As a parent all you wish is to be able to take the pain or hurt or whatever on yourself to spare the child! You did an amazing thing for those people today and you should feel proud!! Thank God it worked out for the best!!!

 

[rambotogo]

Understand your feelings ,done cpr on my dad a few years ago he died about three weeks later. Take care of yourself, stuff like that can drive you insane . Tough stuff for sure ,thank God you were there .

 

[IkemanTX]

Way to go Ikeman. If I have learned one thing in life this is that God puts the right person, at the right place, at the right time… today was your turn, sounds like you did a fantastic job..... well done.

Dave, that’s exactly what my wife said.

Wow nice work! I can only imagine how you're feeling.

I think distraught is a pretty accurate term....

All I can do is keep playing the “what if” scenarios, and all I keep picturing is that blue/gray limp baby in my hands. I probably won’t sleep tonight, to be honest.


................................................................................All climbing methods, platforms, saddle designs, and/or use of materials possibly mentioned in the post above are not peer reviewed for safety, and should only be used as an example of my own method. Do your own research and testing before becoming confident in any DIY solution to support your life.
-IkemanTx

 

[DaveT1963]

Dont focus on the past, the truth is that baby is a healthy, normal colored baby.... dwell there bud

 

[huck72412]

Wow!!! This literally has me in tears. Incredible job Ike. Thankfully the right person was tasked with such a difficult job. Cannot imagine how distraught you must be. However, during your reflection time you just remember that you should be proud of your efforts. Well done buddy!!!!!!

 

[boyne bowhunter]

Awesome work @IkemanTX. You took the training supplied to you, kept your head when it counted and turned a potentially heartbreaking story into one with a positive outcome. You are the man! I tip my hat to you.

To all reading this, the next time you're in another "meaningless" work safety training, remember this story. You could be the next one called on to help someone out, or you may find yourself in need of their help. Situations like this help add some perspective.

I also tip my hat to all first responders and caregivers of any kind. When my mom was sick and in long term care, I was so thankful for the gentle, kindhearted souls willing to put their emotions on hold and tend to the daily needs of others. I said to my wife every time I got home that I could never do that work. The tragedy they endure everyday would tear me up inside.

 

[Vtbow]

Normally, my job is pretty easy.
I am a flight attendant at a major airline, so my job normally consists of serving drinks, handing out snacks, answering questions, and cleaning up after the general public...

Today was different.

Today, I found a blue, unconscious, unresponsive 3 month old infant with a distraught mother and grandfather screaming for someone to save their baby.

All through training, I assumed I would rarely, and hopefully never, use the life saving portion of our training course (40ish hours, including hands on proficiencies). I was wrong. I have only been flying 5 1/2 years and I have administered CPR 3 separate times. Twice to adults, and once today to an infant.

In what felt like an absolute eternity, but was actually only about 2-3 minutes, I was able to get this infants heart beating again, and then after another minute I was able to get her breathing.

I can’t even describe how torn up I am. It all happened so fast, and she recovered very well.. but I just can’t get over the visceral, guttural screams of her mom’s desperation over her dying baby. Or the limp, blue rag doll infant I pulled from her hands to start CPR on.

It has been over 3 hours and I honestly can’t stop crying. Thank GOD it was my last flight of the day, because I am absolutely useless.

I don’t even know why I’m turning to this forum to vent, but I just had to work it through. I can’t keep a conversation about it, because I just turn into a sobbing mess half way through sentences. So, you guys get the brunt of my venting.

Please, if you are reading this, just do me one favor. If you have kids, give them a BIG hug and remind them how much you love them. Because I very easily could have failed this mother, and she may have never held her daughter again. I can’t even wrap my head around not seeing my son again.

Also, if you know anyone who is a first responder, specifically EMS or emergency/ICU staff... let them knïow how much of an angel they are. I can’t imagine this being my ENTIRE work day, every day. I can’t imagine signing up for a job KNOWING I would lose patients on a regular basis, no matter how hard I tried.

Tell your families you love them for me...
-IkemanTx

Right on man. As an ex EMT i know what you're going through, but, to give you a flip side, its people like you I used to be grateful for when arriving on a call like this. You're the man. You're the angel. Give yourself a pat on the back. If you were local I'd buy you a drink, or 5. Thanks for being there, and being cool in the eyes of adversity. Times like this are tough, no matter the outcome. Sounds like the outcome would have been a lot worse if you weren't there. Again, you're the man. Period. I write this sitting next to my 8 month old. I appreciate people like you and the courage you had in an extremely hard moment. Cheers.

 

[IkemanTX]

I appreciate it guys.

I’m starting to get past the stress of it. I tell you what, this is hitting me 10-20 times harder than having to perform CPR on an adult. I think it being an infant is what had me so distraught.
I really wish I would have had time to get some kind of contact info rom the family. I would have loved to get updates on how she is doing over the year!

 

[Vtbow]

I appreciate it guys.

I’m starting to get past the stress of it. I tell you what, this is hitting me 10-20 times harder than having to perform CPR on an adult. I think it being an infant is what had me so distraught.
I really wish I would have had time to get some kind of contact info rom the family. I would have loved to get updates on how she is doing over the year!

Chances are they'll seek you out. In situations like this, people usually do. Smile, spend time with your family. Be open to in person conversation about it. It will help. If you want, stop by a local firestation and talk to the emt or paramedic. They're understand ing and are usually humble and outgoing. It will help.

 

[firehunter]

As a retired Firefighter/ Paramedic I want to tell you great job. It can be very stressful even for those of us that do it frequently and kids are harder in my opinion emotionally. Coming here and talking about it is a great thing to do and it helps with the decompressing from it. If at any time you find it to be bugging you go talk to someone and get help. Sometimes it can stick with you. If it wasn't for people doing what you did before medical crews can arrive many more people wouldn't survive. Once again great job and I am sure mom is very grateful.

 

[sdonx]

IkemanTX your a hero


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[IkemanTX]

Chances are they'll seek you out. In situations like this, people usually do. Smile, spend time with your family. Be open to in person conversation about it. It will help. If you want, stop by a local firestation and talk to the emt or paramedic. They're understand ing and are usually humble and outgoing. It will help.

My company won’t give them my contact info. It is a standing policy to shield us from litigation and press doxing were something to be done slightly wrong. Since we aren’t medical personnel, we are shielded from liability. Both legal, and public. It is a blessing if things don’t go well, but the curse of it is we never know more once the patient leaves our care. I did 18 minutes of chest compressions on a guy 2 years ago and never heard of he made it or not. We are trained to do what we are supposed to until EMS staff arrive, and then trained to go back to our duty operation as soon as they are out of our care. Unless it makes the news without our help, we don’t typically get any further information.

 

[huck72412]

Ike,
Chances are they will reach out through social media if they cannot reach you through your workplace. I would find the person that saved my child if it was the last thing I ever did. Hang in there.

 

[IkemanTX]

^^^
Now that I think about, I’d kinda like to know if that guy 2 years ago lived or not....

There’s a saying in the aviation industry..... no one EVER dies on a plane. If that happens, a $121,000,000 asset gets immediately grounded until local authorities decide their investigation is over. That could be a week, it could be 6 months. 121 million bucks just sitting there as “evidence”. As such, it is essentially illegal to pronounce a patient dead on a plane. EMS on the ground, or doctors in a local hospital do that instead. That means every passenger we hand off, regardless of circumstance is “living” still.... No matter how long we have done CPR without response.

That comes with the penalty of no resolution to medical situations for our first responders. So, that leaves me with with only being able to review my own actions and performance, and using that as my only recovery method. I can’t rely on knowing someone made a recovery, because I literally don’t know. It’s kinda a win/lose situation.


................................................................................All climbing methods, platforms, saddle designs, and/or use of materials possibly mentioned in the post above are not peer reviewed for safety, and should only be used as an example of my own method. Do your own research and testing before becoming confident in any DIY solution to support your life.
-IkemanTx

 

[Gator]

I agree with others, you should feel satisfied and extremely proud that you were able to save that infant. You are a hero today! I don’t fly often but I’ve certainly never thought that a flight attendant should be expected to do what you did today. Congrats on a job well done!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[IkemanTX]

I agree with others, you should feel satisfied and extremely proud that you were able to save that infant. You are a hero today! I don’t fly often but I’ve certainly never thought that a flight attendant should be expected to do what you did today. Congrats on a job well done!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Believe it, or not, almost all of our training revolves exclusively around medical, evacuation, safety, and security processes. They don’t actually teach you how to do your daily job of serving passengers. At all... I got a total of 45 minutes classroom and simulated training on serving passengers. The rest of the 5 weeks of 10-12 hour days were focused on medical, regulatory, safety, and security ONLY.


................................................................................All climbing methods, platforms, saddle designs, and/or use of materials possibly mentioned in the post above are not peer reviewed for safety, and should only be used as an example of my own method. Do your own research and testing before becoming confident in any DIY solution to support your life.
-IkemanTx

 

[dalton916]

Outstanding work! You should take comfort in your efforts