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Jokes and Memes - NO POLITICS

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HuumanCreed said:
The Army recruiting office I went to had a rock call the 'Rock of Shame'. It sit on the desk of the recruiter who applicant hold the lowest ASVAB test score in the office. My recruiter was the current owner with a 9.....A GOD DAMN 9! Just by selecting C the whole test you would of gotten a score of 20.

Got 98 myself :sunglasses:.
Click to expand...

Ok, I can't not tell this story.

I enlisted, went to Parris Island, MCT at Lejeune, and then out to 29 Stumps for MOS school (on the enlisted side, I was a tech). Well, anyone who's ever been in 29 Palms for any length of time knows that the best thing to do there is go somewhere else, so on every chance I got I'd hop a flight back to NYC for a 96, or even a '72. So eventually, our basic course ends and we've got a month or something before our next course, so I'm on the phone with recruiters back home vying for a "Recruiter's Assistant" slot. Finally, I get a Staff Sergeant up on 125th St and Lennox who would let me be his phone guy for two weeks: success!

Anyway, one day this guy comes in, and he's with his mom. The actual recruiter isn't there, so I start asking him all the basic questions: any serious physical problems? How many pullups can you do? Etc. Finally I get to the, "can you pass a drug test question?" and the guy starts hmm'ing and haw'ing, and he says, "well...I've smoked a little weed before." "Ok, when was the last time?" "Oh, um...let me think. Hmm, it was, uh...uh...I think...hmm...maybe...Uh....last night?" Dang dude. "Well, uh, ok...if you enlist in the Marines you can't smoke weed." "But my girl was there!" "Still. Anyway....I need you to take this test...."

Now, we had some computerized ASVAB-light test we could give to prospective enlistees; it wasn't the official ASVAB, but would get you a sense of where they were sitting for the real one. It was a little multiple choice thing on an ancient PC in a corner; it was also kind of automated in that you only had however long to answer each question. If you didn't answer in whatever time it gave you (a minute per question or something) it just went on to the next question. Whenever that happened it'd beep.

Anyway, the kid sits down and starts taking the test and keeps saying, "can I have more time?" for approximately every question, and I kept telling him, "that's just how the program works; I can't change it." Anyway, eventually he finishes, and I look at his score and this cat got, I swear, a 4. Not 40, not 14, but 4. *Four*.

His mom then comes in and starts talking to me, telling me how proud she is that her son came in to talk to the recruiter, but she has a question...If you have a disease, but it doesn't really affect you, can you still join? So I ask her, "Well, I don't know...what kind of disease?" "Just something that doesn't really affect you. You know, like ... HIV?" "Uh, no lady, you can't join the Marines if you're HIV+. Sorry." At this point, the kid is literally crying in the recruiting office.

Anyway, they finally leave and Staff Sergeant comes back and I tell him what happened. "Did he leave an info card?" "Yes, Staff Sergeant." "Go get it." "Aye, Staff Sergeant." I get it and hand it to him. He looks me in the eye, rips it in half, and tosses it into the garbage can and goes back to eating his lunch.

It was definitely the weirdest interaction I had on recruiter's assistance.
 
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