After the day I had I'm in need of a bit of a vent so here goes: got invited to the zoo by some of the kids friends, families that we don't know well but know both my wife and I. I decided to go, invited wife along as kids wanted to see her and we've talked about how it would be good for them for the 4 of us to do stuff together. I drove us, paid for parking and lunch for all of us,etc. (It was my day to have the kids so that was all expected, not complaining about cost just adding context here) Long story short the wife basically complained the entire afternoon about being at the zoo too long (even though our kids, myself, and the rest of the group were having a great time, we'd already had a few people leave early so precedent was there, and I told her I'd drop the kids off if she wanted to get out of there and pay for her Uber back home so literally no obligations to me or them or anyone), and then after she stayed and I brought us back, had the nerve to give me crap in front of the kids about how I'd brought her a large box of her books (that she'd left on a bookshelf at my house), and that I should have brought the bookshelf instead. (I would have brought it today but have no box to put some of her perfume samples and breakable crap in, so left them at my house on the shelves to protect her stuff and brought her books to be of service however I could, you know, carrying 100 lbs of books that she can't lift...) She has no plans on how to get the rest of her stuff out of the house, refuses to talk to me about a plan, and then when I literally do the work for her to bring her things, I am still the bad guy.
I cannot stand unwinnable situations like that, and was on her turf/had already said bye to my kids so I chose to leave. I am sure my children got an earful about how I screwed up and how I'm a bad guy because I slammed the door on my way out. (, I did, but accidentally much louder than I wanted to, not that that excuse holds much water), but it is what it is, I suppose I can't complain bout her being a child when I'm slamming doors. Very disappointed in myself that I let it get to me, I'd done so freaking well all day rising above and ignoring her sulking, and couldn't quite make it the last 15 minutes.
Stay friends for the kids they say, it's easier to coparent if you can get along, they say. Don't we BOTH have to try them, I reply?
Next time will be better, I'll just protect my fun time with the kids for me only, and that'll give me more reserves to deal with her in the other times. And as annoyed as it makes me, I plan to keep being the Neverthanked Moving Service (trademark application pending) because the sooner all of her things are out of my house, the less I have to deal with that aspect of all of this.
I suppose in a way this could all point to symptoms of her not really wanting to get divorced and trying to slow the process down subconsciously or something, but that ain't happening, this was a done deal the second things happened that I won't discuss in an open forum.
Whew. Felt good typing(whining) it out, I think I have a workable plan, just wanted to bounce it off some level headed adults, there's sure to be more here than I've run into today (including yours truly).
Getting divorced sucks, I look forward to BEING divorced.