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Why I'm extra ornery lately = Divorce

Got the hearing postponement motion approved so the September trip is on, uninterrupted. Woohoo! My brother is currently hiking up into the alpine in advance of opening day for deer tomorrow so I'm getting jealous/excited. He's never shot a deer before, half of me hopes he gets one before our trip, half of me hopes we can get him on his first when I'm out there with him.

My ex randomly asked if I wanted to start doing things 1:1 again like going for a walk or getting lunch. To try to "be friends". After taking a few days to think about it I declined and said I had been trying to be friendly the entire time but didn't think it had been reciprocated so think we should continue doing things together with the kids here and there when we can since the kids seem to enjoy it but I didn't want to go further than that or meet up without the kids for now. I think that was a good boundary to hold given how much of a rollercoaster the last 8months/few years have been. It kinda caught me off guard to be honest but I think I shut down the idea respectfully enough. Onwards and holding pattern to the court date, now in mid October.
 
Nothing is ever random. It’s possible they could be setting you up. Either via a PI, video or voice recordings, or to bait you into a visible verbal argument or something to then later be used against you. Opposing lawyers will have all sorts of tactics and ideas to tell their clients that the clients will unfortunately buy into sometimes.

Again, I’m the negative in this thread. Not the positive. It is possible they just want to talk and hang out. But when you say it’s random and you are both currently in an ongoing case with lawyers, just remember what Admiral Ackbar said.
 
Zero One Actual said:
Nothing is ever random. It’s possible they could be setting you up. Either via a PI, video or voice recordings, or to bait you into a visible verbal argument or something to then later be used against you. Opposing lawyers will have all sorts of tactics and ideas to tell their clients that the clients will unfortunately buy into sometimes.

Again, I’m the negative in this thread. Not the positive. It is possible they just want to talk and hang out. But when you say it’s random and you are both currently in an ongoing case with lawyers, just remember what Admiral Ackbar said.
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Yes, always keep your guard up!
 
I pray that your season comes soon. There is so much peace that comes from the outdoors, especially the deer woods. Months and months of work, family and life stress melt away when I sit in the saddle. Yes there are stresses from hunting but so much different.

My wife and I are talking about having children soon and I explained that I can’t wait to one day share the woods with them, boy or girl. I think the conversation helped her better understand why I love hunting so much.

Anywho, enjoy the time with your brother and the woods. Thank whoever you pray to for waking up each day and getting to experience it.
 
thedutchtouch said:
My ex randomly asked if I wanted to start doing things 1:1 again like going for a walk or getting lunch. To try to "be friends". After taking a few days to think about it I declined and said I had been trying to be friendly the entire time but didn't think it had been reciprocated so think we should continue doing things together with the kids here and there when we can since the kids seem to enjoy it but I didn't want to go further than that or meet up without the kids for now. I think that was a good boundary to hold given how much of a rollercoaster the last 8months/few years have been. It kinda caught me off guard to be honest but I think I shut down the idea respectfully enough. Onwards and holding pattern to the court date, now in mid October.
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My ex is the one who filed for divorce but when she was doing similar things I clearly explained to her, if you want to start taking steps towards repairing our marriage I'll jump in with you 100% and do whatever it takes but you have to drop the divorce proceedings in order for us to do that. I'm not going to pretend to be working on our marriage while you're simultaneously working with a lawyer to end it. That was the end of the reconciling discussion. I hate to think it was all just an act but the evidence showed that it was.
 
Every marriage is different, and people can have a change of heart. There is nothing wrong with repairing what's broken. Maybe she misses you, your friendship, the things that caused her to initially fall in love with you. Perhaps it is a trap (but to what extent? What harm comes from a walk, or a level headed chat, or lunch?) Perhaps you desire no more of her or the old life. But keeping the door open can certainly have its benefits, too.

I'll use my personal situation as an example. Our separation began in October. We filed the divorce paperwork in April. We sold the house, and she moved back to Michigan with the kids in May.

The court rejected the divorce, not enough time had passed. We've yet to re-file.

I'm traveling regularly to Michigan to visit, and stay in an extra room at her house. My second to last visit, she admitted she no longer wants to divorce. My last visit, we enjoyed a nice meal out on our own (that's the first time just the two of us were able to dine without the kids since before we moved to Kentucky 4 years ago...probably a big piece of the problem!), and we returned to intimacy.
We talk or text with each other on a daily basis.

I attribute this to the fact that we have removed ourselves from the martial stresses that were leading us to divorce, and now we are able to enjoy the friendship that caused us to fall in love initially 28 years ago.

I don't know that we will necessarily return to the marriage as it once was, but it's great to have my best friend and lover back.

Anyway, I say all that to say this.. maybe rethink that invite. It might just be a cracked door that opens up to an amicable solution to your situation. But as I said, every marriage and couple is different.
God bless, and good luck.
 
I hate to say it but Is totally ignored this and I'm sorry @thedutchtouch

Womerns are difficult my dude.......I'm legit thinking of leaving mine but I have to wait till hunting season over
.hahahaha

if at all possible.
I bend over backwards with a bad back and get no loving in return. If this happens, I probably gotta haveta quit hunting for couple years cause it's gonna be messy



 
Hey no apologies needed whatsoever. I've got a rescheduled court date for October and still holding out hope I can deal with all the BS before and after lol. Messy for sure and mine on paper is "mutual".

Sorry you're going through something. I don't wish this on anyone, but am also seeing the light/better life at the end of the tunnel.
 
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The time has come, waiting for my virtual hearing to start. Fingers crossed this stage goes smoothly and the judge signs off on what we have agreed to and just makes things official, it's been a long 10 months. Will report back after, and wanted to say again that I have appreciated all your support more than I know how to put into words here.

Edit 10:30: quick and painless. Divorce granted, no discussion, just confirming we wanted everything agreed to made official. I still have some legal/paperwork hoops to jump through for the house and other combined assets, but I am now officially divorced, even if some of my stuff isn't yet. Thanks again all.
 
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All the best, hope it gets better and less stressful from here for you. Things turn out best for folks who make the best of the way things turn out.
 
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