BowhunterXC
Well-Known Member
Keeping with the 4th of July theme....
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Jokes and Memes - NO POLITICS
- Thread starter MattMan81
- Start date
Since when is July 4 about scantily clad Nordic beauties....I thought it was about when we said f u to the world's most powerful empire
Don't click if u don't like naughty language......
Here ya go @Weldabeast one for us older guys and one for the younger generation. Best of both worlds. Beautiful woman and FREEDOM.
BowhunterXC
Well-Known Member
In the Puerto Rican culture...
Q: What's the difference between Choice and Choose?
A: Choice is when you're trying to decide between two different things.
Choose iss what joo wear on jure feet.
Q: What's the difference between Choice and Choose?
A: Choice is when you're trying to decide between two different things.
Choose iss what joo wear on jure feet.
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2021
- Messages
- 4,974
BowhunterXC
Well-Known Member
I'm absolutely devastated, right now.
My wife informed me that my 12 year old son, is not mine.
Then she proceeds with this long speech about how I need to pay attention when I pick up our son at the school grounds.
My wife informed me that my 12 year old son, is not mine.
Then she proceeds with this long speech about how I need to pay attention when I pick up our son at the school grounds.
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For my military brethren:
My daughter sent me this.
Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk
Sent from my moto g(7) power using Tapatalk
BowhunterXC
Well-Known Member
All arrivals in heaven go through an examination process, to determine whether their admission will be granted. One room has a clerk that inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one... "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She said she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and the shower was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and began looking for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail, by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began smashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive, I found super-human strength and dragged our antique cedar chest onto the balcony and threw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I had a massive heart attack and I died."
The clerk thanked him and passed him on to the next room.
The second applicant said that his last day was definitely his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on an AC unit, when I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment, but some idiot came rushing out and started smashing my fingers with a flower pot. I fell, but some awnings and bushes broke my fall and I survived. Then I look up and see a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way, but the chest hit me and I was killed."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle, but passed the man on to the next room.
The clerk is still giggling when the third applicant of the day enters the room. He apologies for giggling and says, "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the guy that was just here, before you."
"I don't know," the man replies, "but picture this... I'm buck naked, hiding inside this cedar chest...."
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one... "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She said she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and the shower was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and began looking for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail, by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began smashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive, I found super-human strength and dragged our antique cedar chest onto the balcony and threw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I had a massive heart attack and I died."
The clerk thanked him and passed him on to the next room.
The second applicant said that his last day was definitely his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on an AC unit, when I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment, but some idiot came rushing out and started smashing my fingers with a flower pot. I fell, but some awnings and bushes broke my fall and I survived. Then I look up and see a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way, but the chest hit me and I was killed."
The clerk couldn't help but chuckle, but passed the man on to the next room.
The clerk is still giggling when the third applicant of the day enters the room. He apologies for giggling and says, "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the guy that was just here, before you."
"I don't know," the man replies, "but picture this... I'm buck naked, hiding inside this cedar chest...."
BowhunterXC
Well-Known Member
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to twin peaks and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard complaining and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was freaking cool and he had tons of money in the bank and he even left the toilet seat up.
The End!
The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to twin peaks and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard complaining and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was freaking cool and he had tons of money in the bank and he even left the toilet seat up.
The End!
And his family bloodline dies with him... The endOnce upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to twin peaks and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard complaining and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was freaking cool and he had tons of money in the bank and he even left the toilet seat up.
The End!
I do not have lots of money in the bank. Whoever told you that lied.Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?"
The Princess said, "No!!!"
And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged broads and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to twin peaks and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Captain Morgan and never heard complaining and never paid child support or alimony and dated cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was freaking cool and he had tons of money in the bank and he even left the toilet seat up.
The End!