I’ve actually been pretty lucky to date given some of the really stupid things I’ve done in my 50+ years of hunting. That said, I’ve got a couple that may be worth sharing.
The first one occurred in the early 1980’s, before any of today’s commercial treestands were readily available. In those days we picked trees by those we could climb and just propped ourselves in the tree on a branch, no safety devices what-so-ever. Well one day I wanted to hunt a trail that ran along the top of a small ridge. The only tree I could find that was climbable in the area was a tall white pine that was growing at the bottom of the ridge. I climbed about 30’ up that pine and set up standing on a branch just about level with the trail. I broke off a branch and hung my bow on it. I stood up there for about a half an hour when without warning the branch under foot just snapped. I proceeded to fall through the branches of the pine clearing all those 1-2 inch diameter limbs off the tree as I fell. For those of you who haven’t experienced this it is a weird sensation as the adrenaline kicks in and time slows down. I distinctly remember thinking . . . This is gonna hurt . . . wow this is gonna hurt, I can’t believe I haven’t hit bottom yet, man this is gonna hurt . . . this is taking forever it’s really gonna HURT, as I finally impacted the ground. I had managed to curl into a fetal position and landed on my side and I was right . . . IT DID HURT!, even with the branches slowing me down some. I laid there for a few moments before slowly checking my extremities for broken bones and the ability to move. Finding no serious issues I struggled to my feet and looked up at the tree, now limbless on one side to the height I had been standing at and thinking to myself “I’m never gonna climb or hunt out of a pine tree again”. It was about that time I noticed my bow, still hanging in the tree where I had left it. I had to gingerly climb back up and retrieve my bow.
The second occurred when a buddy and I were float hunting a local river. We got on the river after another boat and for the first couple of miles didn’t see anything. We came around a bend and the boat in front of us was on the bank cooking a shore breakfast as we floated past. The very next bend we floated by a nice buck that stood up as we floated by. My buddy shot the deer and it dropped like someone had turned off its power switch. As we were paddling toward the shore celebrating and thinking the deer was surely dead it stood up and ran off taking us completely by surprise. To make a really long story at least a little shorter we spent several hours tracking the deer downstream, stopping, walking back for the canoe, and paddling down and repeating. We probably did this three or four times. Eventually the deer ran in front of the other boat and they managed to finish it off. They at least had the good manners to thank us as they motored back upstream shortly before dark. We continued down toward the drop truck with about 3 hours of river between us and it and about 1 hour of daylight left. Needless to say it got dark before we were even near the pullout point. Since we weren’t planning on being on the river after dark we weren’t prepared for this with flashlights or anything like that. On top of that it was one of those nights that was DARK. Overcast and no moon. You couldn’t see your hand in front of your face and we were trying to navigate a brush/rock strewn river in the pitch black. Did I mention this was the last weekend in November? There was 6 inches of snow on the ground and the river temps were only slightly above freezing. It was also before cell phones so we had no way of communicating with anyone other than each other. After several close calls we decided we could either continue on and spend the night on the river bank wet, or pull out and spend the night on the bank dry. We pulled out and set up a makeshift shelter with the canoe and lit a fire. My buddy had a small candle lantern with him and I was using it to locate firewood when I discovered an overgrown two track out of the area. We decided since I was somewhat familiar with the area I would hike out and get the truck while my buddy hung with the gear. After the three mile walk wearing my neoprene chest waders I was able to get out to a house on the road into the drop truck. I knocked on the door and the very gracious gentleman inside agreed to give me a ride back to the truck. It turned out we were only about a quarter mile from the truck where we pulled out but there was no way of knowing that in the pitch black. Needless to say both our wives were more than a little concerned by the time we were able to call them.
The funny part of this story is that as a tradition at the company Christmas party they used to put on a little roast of workers and the funny events that happened to them throughout the year. Well that year they pulled me up on stage, set me in chair and walked through the whole story asking me questions as they went. The roastmaster ended the story for me with “They had decided to camp it out for the night until Billy started humming the tune from Deliverance at which point Joe (me) said “That’s it, I’m walking out!”
The first one occurred in the early 1980’s, before any of today’s commercial treestands were readily available. In those days we picked trees by those we could climb and just propped ourselves in the tree on a branch, no safety devices what-so-ever. Well one day I wanted to hunt a trail that ran along the top of a small ridge. The only tree I could find that was climbable in the area was a tall white pine that was growing at the bottom of the ridge. I climbed about 30’ up that pine and set up standing on a branch just about level with the trail. I broke off a branch and hung my bow on it. I stood up there for about a half an hour when without warning the branch under foot just snapped. I proceeded to fall through the branches of the pine clearing all those 1-2 inch diameter limbs off the tree as I fell. For those of you who haven’t experienced this it is a weird sensation as the adrenaline kicks in and time slows down. I distinctly remember thinking . . . This is gonna hurt . . . wow this is gonna hurt, I can’t believe I haven’t hit bottom yet, man this is gonna hurt . . . this is taking forever it’s really gonna HURT, as I finally impacted the ground. I had managed to curl into a fetal position and landed on my side and I was right . . . IT DID HURT!, even with the branches slowing me down some. I laid there for a few moments before slowly checking my extremities for broken bones and the ability to move. Finding no serious issues I struggled to my feet and looked up at the tree, now limbless on one side to the height I had been standing at and thinking to myself “I’m never gonna climb or hunt out of a pine tree again”. It was about that time I noticed my bow, still hanging in the tree where I had left it. I had to gingerly climb back up and retrieve my bow.
The second occurred when a buddy and I were float hunting a local river. We got on the river after another boat and for the first couple of miles didn’t see anything. We came around a bend and the boat in front of us was on the bank cooking a shore breakfast as we floated past. The very next bend we floated by a nice buck that stood up as we floated by. My buddy shot the deer and it dropped like someone had turned off its power switch. As we were paddling toward the shore celebrating and thinking the deer was surely dead it stood up and ran off taking us completely by surprise. To make a really long story at least a little shorter we spent several hours tracking the deer downstream, stopping, walking back for the canoe, and paddling down and repeating. We probably did this three or four times. Eventually the deer ran in front of the other boat and they managed to finish it off. They at least had the good manners to thank us as they motored back upstream shortly before dark. We continued down toward the drop truck with about 3 hours of river between us and it and about 1 hour of daylight left. Needless to say it got dark before we were even near the pullout point. Since we weren’t planning on being on the river after dark we weren’t prepared for this with flashlights or anything like that. On top of that it was one of those nights that was DARK. Overcast and no moon. You couldn’t see your hand in front of your face and we were trying to navigate a brush/rock strewn river in the pitch black. Did I mention this was the last weekend in November? There was 6 inches of snow on the ground and the river temps were only slightly above freezing. It was also before cell phones so we had no way of communicating with anyone other than each other. After several close calls we decided we could either continue on and spend the night on the river bank wet, or pull out and spend the night on the bank dry. We pulled out and set up a makeshift shelter with the canoe and lit a fire. My buddy had a small candle lantern with him and I was using it to locate firewood when I discovered an overgrown two track out of the area. We decided since I was somewhat familiar with the area I would hike out and get the truck while my buddy hung with the gear. After the three mile walk wearing my neoprene chest waders I was able to get out to a house on the road into the drop truck. I knocked on the door and the very gracious gentleman inside agreed to give me a ride back to the truck. It turned out we were only about a quarter mile from the truck where we pulled out but there was no way of knowing that in the pitch black. Needless to say both our wives were more than a little concerned by the time we were able to call them.
The funny part of this story is that as a tradition at the company Christmas party they used to put on a little roast of workers and the funny events that happened to them throughout the year. Well that year they pulled me up on stage, set me in chair and walked through the whole story asking me questions as they went. The roastmaster ended the story for me with “They had decided to camp it out for the night until Billy started humming the tune from Deliverance at which point Joe (me) said “That’s it, I’m walking out!”
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