Kudos to you for posting this, that's not easy. I'm no doctor, but as an employer I get to know a lot of people on a personal level. With that said; I am shocked at what human beings are capable of, and truthfully, you are no different. I will say that everyone that I have come in contact with, that has overcome anything, has incorporated some type of physical exercise, and most have done it with the help of someone that they have paid. Its cool to watch Jocko Willinik work out in his home gym , but most of us dont have that level of dedication. What would happen if you refused to go to sleep tomorrow night without hiring a physical trainer, that you paid for, in advance for the year, and your first session started Thursday? We both know the answer, you would be committed. You wouldn't have a choice. Your life would be different starting Thursday. People say they dont have the money. What's the cost of open heart surgery these days? What good is hunting if you can't do it? Personally, I do Jiu Jitsu. I try to hit it at least 4 times a week. For me, it helps me physically, teaches me perseverance, and stimulates me mentally. At 49 years old, I hurt in the mornings, my knees are tweaked, my back bothers me, my fingers are swollen, I got beat up by a kid half my age, I have payroll to worry about, I have staff that quit etc......... We're all the same! You can do this! A person once told me, "remember, there are people out there that would love to have your worst day", pretty powerful words. You are welcome to PM me anytime if things get tough.